the latest from the red and black

brand new: overseen in athens

Just in time for finals, we're launching a brand new site called Overseen in Athens!

For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link

 

"...you mean your house, right?"

14 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Guy 1: What do you do in Athens in the summer when no one's here?
  • Guy 2: I dunno. Hang out in your house naked.

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who knew she's also the patron saint of copyrighted names?

0 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Girl 1: I had no idea Mount Vesuvius was in Italy!
  • Girl 2: Me neither! And I didn't know where Mount Saint Helen was, either.
  • Girl 3: I did. I mean, what other country besides America would have a Saint Helen?

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it's been even longer since she paused to breathe

21 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Sorostitute: I really want a muffin because they are so good. But I was on the phone with Momma one time in line here and I told her I was about to get a muffin. She said, "you know what happens to girls who eat muffins right? they get muffin tops." Then I looked over and this, like, huge girl was eating a muffin. So I was like, oh my gosh she's right. I haven't had a muffin in like six months.

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vanity... the pragmatist's approach

24 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Girl 1: I'm so glad we're not fat! It would take us so much longer to get drunk.
  • Girl 2: Yeah, totally!

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uga transit's been meaning to relabel those things for years

26 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: Crap! This bus is going the wrong way!
  • (She pulls the stop cord)
  • Sorostitute 2: This bus always goes this way!
  • Sorostitute 1: Why isn't the bus stopping? I pulled the cord!
  • Sorostitute 2: I don't think that's what it's for, but it does seem to piss the drivers off.

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"...why do you think i'm an only child?"

59 [+ / -]     May 11, 2008

  • Young Professor: I am probably going to let you guy go a little early today because I have to pick my Mom up at the airport.
  • (All the girls in the front row say "awwww")
  • Young Professor: No! Its not like that, my mother has the parental instincts of a species that has the tendency to eat its young.

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it's ok, we'll do it for her

68 [+ / -]     May 11, 2008

  • Girl 1: I locked my keys in my car, so I'm waiting on my mom to call me.
  • Girl 2: Is she on her way here?
  • Girl 1: No, she's going to call me on my cell phone and use the unlock button on my spare keys at home. When she hits it, I'll point my cell at my car it'll unlock the door.
  • Girl 2: Please don't tell anyone else that.

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if they touch, they might both disappear

31 [+ / -]     May 11, 2008

  • Sorostitute: So she was just like, "Hey, I'm just gonna warn you. I know you're a Republican and that guy is gay... so be careful."

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clearly, the cold war is not over

-31 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

  • Guy 1: Our two high school counites are rivals.
  • Guy 2: Really, why?
  • Guy 1: Because we beat you guys every year.
  • Guy 2: Yeah, but why do we have to fight?
  • Guy 1: I mean, why do North Korea and South Korea fight?
  • Guy 1: Because North Korea overtook South Korea.
  • Guy 2 : That has nothing to do with counties
  • Guy 1: Yes it does, it explains everything.

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can you hear william wallace turning in his grave?

23 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

  • Sociology Instructor: (talking about ideas) Where is the only place that you truly have freedom?
  • Dude: Amsterdam?

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you should be happy... why aren't you smiling?

46 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

  • Girl 1: Ohmigod! Did I tell you what my parents are getting me for graduation? My first Botox injections!
  • Girl 2: Ohmigod! You are so lucky!

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practice makes perfect, right?

46 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

  • (Guy in CPR class is refusing to give CPR to an infant dummy)
  • Instructor: Go ahead. Put your mouth up to it.
  • Guy: No!
  • Instructor: C'mon, it's just like you're making out with a baby.
  • Guy: You're making this really awkward.
  • Instructor: What's awkward about saving lives?

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let me say it a few more times, maybe it'll make me even more stoned

25 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

  • Fratty: Hey, do you guys have, like, liquid cheese dip? You, know, it's like cheese and stuff, but liquid... liquid cheese dip, you know.

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she must be thinking of the british spelling

-30 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

  • Girl: (wearing pants that say "soccer" on the ass) Kiss my ass! All nine letters of it!

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the scary thing is it's plural

44 [+ / -]     May 09, 2008

  • Fratty: (to girl) Well, it was good to see you again. Good luck with your STDs.

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