Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link
 

Quotes from "Apt"


so that's a yes?

105 [+ / -]     Apr 23, 2009

  • Fratty 1: Is it gay that I get a huge hard on when I watch Knowshon run without a shirt on?
  • Fratty 2: Maybe. All I know is I'd fuck him.

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point / counterpoint

137 [+ / -]     Mar 25, 2009

  • (Drunk Guy and Drunk Girl making out at party)
  • Drunk Girl: I think it would probably be best if we stopped.
  • Drunk Guy: I think it would be best if you gave me head.

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we've come so far

136 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2009

  • Drunk sorostitute: Hey guys, this is my friend! She's black!
  • Sober Black Girl: (looks at her skin) Oh, really? Oh, shit! Look at that, I am black! News to me.

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you can still only think with one at a time, though

8 [+ / -]     Apr 27, 2008

  • Girl: I don't know why they'd schedule an exam for 7 at night! It's proven that your brain just works better in the morning!
  • Guy: Like the penis?

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can't be worse than that shit you eat at mexicali

-38 [+ / -]     Apr 15, 2008

  • Girl 1: So do you think we will like actually see Mexicans?
  • Girl 2: Are you serious... we are going to be in Mexico.
  • Girl 1: Yeah, but will we eat authentic Mexican food?
  • Girl 2: Yes! What else do you expect?
  • Girl 1: Well, I'm not eating it because I heard they crush up bugs and stuff into their food there.

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and they say marijuana decreases motivation

-62 [+ / -]     Mar 28, 2008

  • Stoner Dude 1: Dude, I smoked 3 blunts today!
  • Stoner Dude 2: Man, I wish I could have days like that... I don't how you can afford to just sit around all day and do that.
  • Stoner Dude 3: Hey, you have to work hard to have a day like that! You gotta put some serious effort in if you want to have a 3 blunt day!

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that gold bikini looked so hot

-29 [+ / -]     Feb 26, 2008

  • Roommate 1: I'm watching a Cary Grant movie right now!
  • Roommate 2: Who?
  • Roommate 1: Seriously?
  • Roommate 2: Remind me what movies she was in again. Star Wars, right?

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note to self... get more better at talking

-61 [+ / -]     Jan 29, 2008

  • Girl 1: When I was littler...
  • Girl 2: (cutting her off) Little-er?
  • Girl 1: What? That's a word! Littler... how would you say it otherwise?
  • Girl 2: When I was younger or when I was little.
  • Girl 1: Oh. Yeah.

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we still think the biggest loser is the one watching

60 [+ / -]     Jan 21, 2008

  • (While watching "The Biggest Loser")
  • Roommate 1: Those girls on the purple team look a lot alike. Are they twins?
  • Roommate 2: No, they're just fat.

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wasn't that the basis of the zogby poll?

87 [+ / -]     Jan 14, 2008

  • Girl 1: Can you believe that Hillary Clinton actually did good in New Hampshire?
  • Girl 2: Yeah, but isn't that just because there are a lot of lesbians up there?

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sure it wasn't a vampire hunter?

-47 [+ / -]     Dec 09, 2007

  • Girl: You had a Jesus Christmas date night?
  • Sorostitute: No, a tacky Christmas date night!
  • Girl: Oh, because I saw Jesus downtown one night.
  • Sorostitute: What?
  • Girl: No, not the real Jesus, just a man with a cross.

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next you'll tell us women can drive

34 [+ / -]     Jun 16, 2007

  • Guy 1: Don't make me beat your ass!
  • Guy 2: Please don't try me like that, I may be gay but I'm strong.

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good thing her dad's rich

6 [+ / -]     May 13, 2007

  • (A group of girls are studying. One gets up to get sushi from the fridge)
  • Girl: You know what I love about sushi? you can eat it raw!
  • (everyone stares)
  • Girl: What?

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yeah, she gets it

-217 [+ / -]     May 10, 2007

  • Drunk girl: I love penis, ohmigod.
  • Guy: I have a penis.
  • Drunk girl: Yeah they're really addictive.
  • Guy: Ad-dick-tive... get it?

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alcohol vs. studying (round 2)

0 [+ / -]     May 03, 2007

  • Girl 1: Why do you have to study?
  • Girl 2: To remember it for the test.
  • Girl 3: That's crazy, I can never remember anything from the night before.

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don't worry, kid... your dad was born yesterday

212 [+ / -]     Mar 08, 2007

  • (Visiting dad is holding out credit card bill)
  • Student: Dad, bottom line, I have to eat. I don't have any money in my account so I'm going to charge my food. I don't want to starve.
  • Dad: Understandable. But tell me, what kind of food to the serve at 'The Winery'? What about at 'On the Rocks'?
  • Student: Umm, cherries?

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make sure to pick up a brick wall on the way home

-152 [+ / -]     Jan 19, 2007

  • Drunk guy: So, I've taken a Klonopin, smoked a bowl, and drank some whiskey. Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty fucked up. But I know that I could get in my car and drive away completely safe.

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guys aren't the only ones who can't find it

80 [+ / -]     Oct 12, 2006

  • Girl 1: I heard she got her clit pierced.
  • Girl 2: Ewww and ouch!
  • Girl 1: I know, that has to hurt like hell.
  • Girl 2: So wait... your clit is in your va-jay-jay, right?

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she bathes in a kiddie pool full of his sex

-108 [+ / -]     Sep 20, 2006

  • Girl 1: Yeah, since I had sex 2 nights ago, you would have every right to stop being my friend if I didn't shower yesterday.Girl 2: Isn't this the same guy you had sex with and then didn't shower for 3 days?Girl 1: Yeah, but I really like sitting in his sex. He smells really good -- even when he's drunk.

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that's also where we keep the cows

8 [+ / -]     Jul 23, 2006

  • Crazy blonde: (looking at a box of Yogurt Cheerios on top of the fridge) Shouldn't those Yogurt Cheerios go in the fridge?

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"i hit that bumper" has a whole new meaning

7 [+ / -]     Jul 13, 2006

  • Boyfriend: I just hit your car.Sleepy Girlfriend: What? Why?Boyfriend: Don't worry. I'll bring home a zip tie from work and we'll tie it back on later.

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blame it on the taco bell

-27 [+ / -]     Jun 06, 2006

  • Guy: You know how I know that I drink too much?
    Girl: How?
    Guy: I haven't shit solid in a week.

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it is a small wonder

-15 [+ / -]     Apr 14, 2006

  • (While playing ring of fire and all people in their underwear)
  • Drunk girl: I see gapage in your boxers!
    Drunk guy: (tears boxers off) See it now?

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