Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

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Quotes from "Health Center"


think locally, act locally

5 [+ / -]     May 08, 2010

  • Sorostitute 1: What happened?
  • Sorostitute 2: An oil ship crashed in the Gulf of Florida.
  • Sorostitute 1: Does that mean there's going to be like, another oil crisis?
  • Sorostitute 2: I don't know. But we can't go swimming on the beach.
  • Sorostitute 1: What? Why?
  • Sorostitute 2: Cause there's like, oil in the water and they aren't letting anyone swim.

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for when those pimples drive you crazy

-56 [+ / -]     May 26, 2009

  • Nurse: Are you still on the Differin?
  • Patient: No.
  • Nurse: Any new medicine?
  • Patient: Risperdal.
  • Nurse: Is that for acne?
  • Patient: No, it is an anti-psychotic.

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at least he's got something to look forward to

73 [+ / -]     Oct 09, 2008

  • Student: I think I've got food poisoning.
  • Doctor: That's entirely possible, I've had 8 cases of it this week. Have you shit yourself?
  • Student: Uh, no.
  • Doctor: Oh good, you caught it early.

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that's one test you don't want to christmas tree

111 [+ / -]     Nov 08, 2007

  • Girl: I have a headache, dizziness, nausea and I've vomited already this morning.
  • Nurse: It could be flu, a hangover, or pregnancy.
  • Girl: D. All of the above.

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here's a hint: there's more days in september than there are points in your IQ

64 [+ / -]     Oct 01, 2007

  • Girl: What's the date?
  • Registrar: September 30th.
  • Girl: (to friend) Oh, it must be a leap year because there are only 29 days in September, right?

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well doctor, it won't stop twitching and I've been craving carrots

252 [+ / -]     Dec 21, 2006

  • Health Center M.D.: So, I see here that you have a "bunny nose." Tell me more about this "bunny nose." What are your symptoms?
  • Girl: Ummm, runny nose. I have a runny nose.

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you could still do lots of swimming

22 [+ / -]     Sep 07, 2006

  • (TV showing how Hurricane John could severely damage property along South Carolina beaches)Girl: Oh no! My uncle John's house!Guy: Say goodbye to it.Girl: No! I need it for Spring Break!

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