Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link
 

Quotes from "Hot Corner"


i wonder if they'll ever find girl 4's body

-60 [+ / -]     Apr 08, 2008

  • Girl 1: Well, when I hooked up with him he didn't bring the knife out on me. He just scratched the shit out of me.
  • Girl 2: Really? He used the knife on all of us when we hooked up. He made Casey bleed.
  • Girl 3: Did he bite you guys? He bit me so hard I could hear the blood vessels pop! I was like what the fuck!

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but he's probably miraculous in bed

152 [+ / -]     Apr 02, 2008

  • (Two girls are eying a guy in the corner)
  • Girl 1: He's really cute.
  • Girl 2: Nah. He's got too much hair.
  • Girl 1: It's cute!
  • Girl 2: Look, you don't want to be having sex with a guy and go, "Oh Jesus," and him say, "Yes?"

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i guess it's hoes before bros after all

91 [+ / -]     Apr 02, 2008

  • (Two chicks and a guy walk by)
  • Chick 1: (to Chick 2) But we have to put out, we promised!
  • Random Guy: (to his friends) Uh... I'm going with these guys.

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now if only i could figure out where to put it...

40 [+ / -]     Mar 19, 2008

  • Guy on cell: (while carrying a passed out girl on shoulder) Yeah, yeah, I know.
  • (pause)
  • Guy on cell: But, well, I bought an IUD, so it's okay.

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if chicken had teeth, the sound of them chattering would have been unbearable

31 [+ / -]     Feb 25, 2008

  • Mom: Did you hear about that poultry truck that flipped a few weeks ago? Apparently it was a truck full of frozen chicken.
  • Daughter: Ohmigod! So they were alive?!

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leave room for rohypnol?

37 [+ / -]     Nov 17, 2007

  • Guy: Charlie? Oh my god I haven't seen you in years!
  • Charlie: Yeah, man.
  • Guy: How have you been?
  • Charlie: Good.
  • Guy: Did you ever get out of those rape charges?
  • (Charlie nonchalantly nods)
  • Guy: Good! Can I get you a coffee?

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"...can we go back to neverland ranch this weekend?"

-65 [+ / -]     Nov 09, 2007

  • Drunk girl 1: Oh yeah, at that last party we were at...
  • Drunk girl 2: Mmhmm, yeah?
  • Drunk girl 1: I totally kissed a five year-old!
  • Drunk girl 2: Yeah!

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you just can't rush rock n roll

148 [+ / -]     Aug 06, 2007

  • Fratty: I was drunk as hell at this show and I went to take a piss. I was just starting to piss when I hear them play my favorite song. I tried to push it out faster and ended up shitting myself.

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giving tithing a new meaning

-19 [+ / -]     Jul 28, 2007

  • Girl: I can not get as drunk tonight as I did last night.
  • Guy: I didn't even know you were that drunk. You're pretty good at hiding your drunkeness.
  • Girl: Yeah, well when you go to church drunk as many times as I have you getting pretty good at hiding it. I can't tell you how many times I've come close to puking in the offering plate.

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you could always go to the vfw

46 [+ / -]     Jul 20, 2007

  • 30-something guy 1: That's the problem with hanging out here.
  • 30-something guy 2: What's that?
  • 30-something guy 1: All of the college kids make me feel really old. They should make a cafe for adults to hang out at.
  • 20-something guy: They do, they're called bars.

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i can't get mine to stop peeing on the floor

63 [+ / -]     Jul 02, 2007

  • Drunk girl: I like virgins.
  • Drunk girl's friend: Why?
  • Drunk girl: Because you can train them.

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the litmus test

109 [+ / -]     May 15, 2007

  • Gay guy: I knew I was gay the first time I saw the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
  • Straight guy: (worried) So if you like that scene that means you're gay?

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by this logic, are there no gay frenchmen?

83 [+ / -]     May 06, 2007

  • Girl: The R's in French are like hocking a loogie.
  • Guy: I can't do that.
  • Girl: You mean you never hocked a loogie when you were growing up?
  • Guy: No, I'm gay.

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alcohol vs. studying (round 1)

84 [+ / -]     May 02, 2007

  • Girl: (studying) Are you done?
  • Guy: (packing up) Screw this, I'm gonna go get drunk.

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it's so they don't fly away

101 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2007

  • Girl: I think this coffee shop is wireless, but I'm not sure because all the computers are plugged in.

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bring your own slot machine

31 [+ / -]     Apr 19, 2007

  • Guy 1: So I have this great idea for a casino and bar.
  • Guy 2: What'll you call it?
  • Guy 1: Liquor in the front and poker in the back.

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only marginally better than calling old girlfriends

-40 [+ / -]     Apr 12, 2007

  • Guy 1: Jesus, it's really hard to do this.
  • Guy 2: This is why you don't moderate a website drunk, dumbass.

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it's good to be prepared

119 [+ / -]     Mar 19, 2007

  • Guy 1: Man there's there's so much pussy in Athens it makes me crazy.
  • Guy 2: (looks at hot chicks passing by) Yep.
  • Guy 1: I need a dominatrix nymphomaniac, but they're hard to find. Fucking whips, chains and corsets, that shit's expensive.
  • (Guy 1 pulls handcuffs out of bookbag)
  • Guy 1: That's why I carry my own handcuffs with me.

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i bet bozo's friends weren't this mean

165 [+ / -]     Feb 01, 2007

  • Guy 1: You take up way too much space... It's your feet. They're fucking huge.
  • Guy 2: No they're not!
  • Guy 1: You make clowns look like 18th century Chinese women.
  • Guy 2: Wow. I got nothing.

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where do you want to go today?

-11 [+ / -]     Jan 14, 2007

  • Guy: Man, Internet Explorer blows.
  • Girl: Yeah, it doesn't do so well at browsing the Internet.
  • Guy: Which is ironic, because of its name. Internet. Explorer.
  • Girl: Yeah, more like Anal Spelunker.

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show us where on the pipe he touched you

55 [+ / -]     Jan 05, 2007

  • Guy 1: Dude, do you want to try some salvia? It's a legal hallucinogen.
  • Guy 2: No way. I've tried it before - in the drug family, salvia's kinda like the uncle that touched you when you were little.

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what is this? some kind of question game?

192 [+ / -]     Dec 14, 2006

  • Sorostitute: Why don't you wear make-up? Are you some kind of feminist?
  • Feminist: Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you some kind of fucking moron?

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d'oh!

-59 [+ / -]     Dec 13, 2006

  • Girl: Bagels are bad for you.
  • Guy: No they aren't.
  • Girl: Yeah, they're like fried dough.
  • Guy: No, donuts are fried dough.

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the barter system prevails during finals week

186 [+ / -]     Dec 11, 2006

  • Girl 1: Can I borrow your highlighter?
  • Girl 2: I'll trade you for some adderol.

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just say no

-47 [+ / -]     Dec 09, 2006

  • Homeless guy: You do trust me... don't you?
  • Girl: Well, ..um ..ya.

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it's not even time for the friday crossword

71 [+ / -]     Dec 04, 2006

  • (Guy opens dictionary)
  • Girl: Why do you have a dictionary?
  • Guy: Well, I'm reading the New York Times.

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if you were my homework i'd be doing you all night long

-86 [+ / -]     Nov 28, 2006

  • Guy: What, are you gonna stab me with that highlighter?
  • Girl: Yeah. And than I can find you when I need to read you.

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and a few footprints here and there

76 [+ / -]     Nov 06, 2006

  • Annoyed grad student: Seeing your advisor in the College of Education is like seeing Sasquatch... there are rumors that some people have done it, but there have been no confirmed sightings.

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when caffeine just isn't enough

117 [+ / -]     Oct 30, 2006

  • Dude: Does anyone have any drugs?(Awkward silence in coffee shop)Dude: No, seriously, does anyone have any drugs?

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always willing to help out

160 [+ / -]     Oct 30, 2006

  • Guy: The guy hit me in the side with a brick, so I caved in his face, broke his jaw, and crushed his knee. When the cops got there they cuffed me and sat me down next to JB the polish sausage guy. All he had to say was "You hungry, man?"

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dance all night long?

103 [+ / -]     Oct 23, 2006

  • Drunk guy: (Shouting to no one in particular) I would like to take all you ladies home and...(Stumbles by Hot Corner, sees everyone staring at him in silence)Drunk guy: Oh. Awkward.

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even if some blood has to be spilled along the way

52 [+ / -]     Oct 19, 2006

  • Girl 1: I got fired yesterday. I'm so stressed out now. How are you?
  • Girl 2: I'm good, i can't believe you got fired. Are you gonna be okay?
  • Girl 1: Yeah, I've found that I'm kind of like a uterus... You know, self contained, self cleansing, self cycled. I'll eventually work myself out.

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i don't know nothin' bouth birthin' no racists

22 [+ / -]     Sep 29, 2006

  • White guy 1: Fo sheezie my neezie.White girl: Don't say that! You know what neezie is short for. Once when I was four I said that world and got a bar of soap in my mouth.White guy 2: Yeah, that's because it was directed at your black maid.

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isn't it ironic, don'tcha think?

75 [+ / -]     Sep 26, 2006

  • Popped collar: You wanna go in and get some coffee?
  • Sorostitute: Uh-uh. My parents said I can't hang out in there. The people are... unsavory. Let's just go to Nowhere Bar.

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both are fun to dance naked on

17 [+ / -]     Sep 08, 2006

  • Sorostitute 1: I want to get drunk, let's go to a bar!Sorostitute 2: I can't go to a bar, I'm on Xanax!

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and snape got kicked off for using too much black

108 [+ / -]     Aug 16, 2006

  • Girl: Oh, man... I missed Project Runway.Guy: I watched it and now I'm going to ruin it for you. Dumbledore dies.

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size does matter

47 [+ / -]     Aug 12, 2006

  • Summer student 1: I don't know how the hell I'm going to write a 5-7 page paper on this topic!
  • Summer student 2: I've got two words for you... Courier New.

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now that's multitasking

105 [+ / -]     Aug 03, 2006

  • Guy: There's only like two kinds of deadly jellyfish.
  • Girl: I had a Portuguese Man-of-War wrapped around my leg once.
  • Guy: Are you sure it was Portuguese?
  • Girl: That's what the lifeguard guy said while he was peeing on it.

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i like my sex like i like my soda... flat and syrupy-sweet

-16 [+ / -]     Jul 02, 2006

  • Guy: (takes swig of soda) Damn, this is better than what I remember sex to be like.

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and no sex life

68 [+ / -]     Jul 01, 2006

  • (Talking about a friend who was hit on by a guy)
  • Guy 1: Yeah, I've known him for 18 years, he gets hit on all the time.
  • Guy 2: I get hit on all the time by dudes. No women ever hit on me. If it weren't for dudes, I'd have no self-esteem.

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nietzsche's corpse is crying somewhere

46 [+ / -]     Jun 26, 2006

  • Drunk 1: Everything is nothing, and nothing is everything. Fuck everything and fuck nothing! Fuck it all from back to front!
  • Drunk 2: So, you're saying nothing is anything?Drunk 1: And anything is nothing.
  • Drunk 2: Is that called Nihilism? Because I don't know anything about Nihilism, so I don't know what the word means.
  • Drunk 1: I think that's what it's called.
  • Drunk 2: I don't know anything about Nihilism. Is Nihilism where you think God's name is Niles?
  • Drunk 1: My cousin's name is Niles.
  • Drunk 2: So you inherited Nihilism from your family.
  • Drunk 1: Fuck 'em.

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must be the remedial time management class

52 [+ / -]     Jun 24, 2006

  • Girl: I really need to study, but I have a drinking schedule I want to stick to.

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at least there are women on myspace

84 [+ / -]     Jun 23, 2006

  • Girl: I lost my boyfriend to MySpace.Guy: Well, you know, it could be worse... he could be addicted to World of Warcraft. Then you'd have to wait for him to level up everytime you wanted to get some.

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the other advantage is living with your mom

-24 [+ / -]     Jun 20, 2006

  • Guy: One of the few advantages of working at a community college... all the binder clips you can want to put on your nipples!

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right, like she's going to keep it

18 [+ / -]     Jun 13, 2006

  • (A hungover girl is feeling the back of her head)
  • Girl: Did I fall last night? I think I have a fetus growing off the back of my neck. Oh well, I guess two heads are better than one.

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like a beeper

-34 [+ / -]     Jun 10, 2006

  • (Two girls are talking about vibrators)
  • Girl 1: It was a small one.
    Girl 2: Like a butt plug?

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and the boy's haircut doesn't help

69 [+ / -]     May 30, 2006

  • Indie Girl: Why do guys look at porno magazines?
    Indie Guy: Because you're not hot enough.

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sounds like this girl could use a pint of ibuprofin

85 [+ / -]     May 29, 2006

  • Girl: Tell me if this is bad. Last night I had a headache and then I had a beer and it went away. Tonight I had a headache and then I had a beer and then it went away.
    Guy: Why don't you try Aleve?
    Girl: Does that have beer in it?

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i know i wack it to them like four times a day

1 [+ / -]     May 26, 2006

  • Guy: Did you see the video of the guy masturbating to World of Warcraft?
    Girl: No.
    Guy: This guy's friends have a little handicam and they creep into this guys room and there he is doing his business to a night elf female.
    Girl: Well... they are pretty hot.

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an answer to the age old question

95 [+ / -]     May 22, 2006

  • (Guy comes in with blue beard and mustache, rest of his hair is brown)
  • Clean cut fratty: So, smurf cum does stain after all, then?

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not even tom wants to be her friend

37 [+ / -]     May 17, 2006

  • Girl: What is Facebook?
  • Guy: It's like MySpace, except just for college students. You get on and talk to people.
  • Girl: Well, I'm not in college, I don't have a laptop and I don't give a fuck about anyone about myself.

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i'm not even gonna ask what all the roosters are for

-22 [+ / -]     May 15, 2006

  • Girl: (to friend) Come to Go Bar with me tonight!
    Guy: He's coming to boy's night tonight. Cock required.

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that's not your purse, dear

139 [+ / -]     May 11, 2006

  • Girl: I love how everytime I open my purse it's like BAM! Condoms.

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i like 'mmm... sausage'

290 [+ / -]     May 11, 2006

  • Guy: I'm going to tell her I'm gay tomorrow at breakfast. How am I supposed to tell her, though? "My eggs are cold, I'm gay. Could you pass the salt?"

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i think they covered that in my intro to sociology class

41 [+ / -]     May 09, 2006

  • Guy: Did you hear about the guy who posted on some university message boards about how he wanted to kill Bush and Rumsfeld?
  • Girl: He said that?
  • Guy: Yeah, you just don't do that.
  • Girl: Well, we were talking about overthrowing the IRS on cell phones the other day.
  • Guy: Yeah but that's just human nature.

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the only rule is "no crack on sundays"

50 [+ / -]     May 04, 2006

  • Drunk sophomore: I thought I had lowered my standards enough to get some, but I guess not.

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an eye for an eye

62 [+ / -]     May 03, 2006

  • Girl: Scana Energy called and left a message... they said something about your first-born child.
    Guy: It was probably in response to the message I left concerning my left nut.

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you get less tangles that way

-184 [+ / -]     May 02, 2006

  • Guy 1: That's a cool mouse.
    Girl: Yeah the cord wraps around itself. That's almost as cool as the ones that retract.
    Guy 1: It's pre-retracting technology.
    Guy 2: Yeah, like my dick.

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a midget's life is a hard one

45 [+ / -]     Apr 27, 2006

  • Girl 1: People started having sex in the bunk above me in a hostel once.
    Guy 1: Why didn't you start kicking the bed or something?
    Girl 2: Short legs.

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but not necessarily in that order

51 [+ / -]     Apr 25, 2006

  • Bitter dyke: All I want is my jacket and my strap-on back.

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with reasoning like that, she must be in the sanhedrin

39 [+ / -]     Apr 24, 2006

  • Girl: Free beer at Lunch Paper!? Shit! I can't drink beer because of Passover.
    Guy: But you're smoking a cigarette.
    Girl: Smoking is not made out of bread!

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he was asian?

94 [+ / -]     Apr 19, 2006

  • Guy: So outside of the grill, this girl was macking on a homeless guy.
    Girl: I don't think he was homeless, I just think he wasn't white.

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i guess it beats sign language

6 [+ / -]     Apr 13, 2006

  • Girl 1 to Girl 2 across the table: Hey, get back online so I can IM you!

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this guy needs a to do list for his habits

-19 [+ / -]     Apr 11, 2006

  • Guy: Does anyone have Microsoft Maps and Streets? I need to get to Covington. I could sleep in my car, but the sooner I get home the sooner I can puff and take a Xanax.

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clearly a math major

62 [+ / -]     Apr 08, 2006

  • Drunk guy: How much is Cheerwine here?
    Girl: They're like 8 dollars.
    Guy: No, they're like 2.
    Drunk guy: I don't know who to trust, so I'm going to take the average and go with 3.

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quantity over quality. just kidding.. loser.

60 [+ / -]     Apr 03, 2006

  • Guy: Define party.
    Girl: Like ten people.
    Guy: Ten people is a gathering, not a party.
    Girl: Ten people is how many friends I have.

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news flash: sometimes this window lasts an entire marriage

98 [+ / -]     Mar 31, 2006

  • Girl 1: I don't know how he feels about me. I don't even know if he's seeing other people.
    Girl 2: Why, what do you mean?
    Girl 1: He told me he loves me.
    Girl 2: Did he say it after sex? Because there's a 20 minute window where it doesn't count.

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buddy alert: mjnvrlnd has just signed on

-9 [+ / -]     Mar 30, 2006

  • Girl 1: AOL sucks.
    Guy 1: AOL is good for AIM, thats about it.
    Guy 2: The only people AOL is useful to are pedophiles.

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we told you to stop burning yo-yos

-17 [+ / -]     Mar 29, 2006

  • Guy: You never hear about anyone getting lung cancer from second-hand yo-yo smoke.

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this is georgia... get drunk in wal-mart

-2 [+ / -]     Mar 28, 2006

  • Guy 1: Have you been to Mercury Lounge?
    Guy 2: No, but I've always wanted to get drunk in an Ikea.

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call the coast guard

15 [+ / -]     Mar 28, 2006

  • Guy: It was sort of a floater.

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who knows what earl grey was into

-23 [+ / -]     Mar 23, 2006

  • Girl 1: (on phone) I was just wondering if you could hook me up with a tea bag of amazingness...
  • Girl 2: Uhhh...
  • Girl 1: No! Not that tea bag!

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these guys are a couple of nuts

-70 [+ / -]     Mar 22, 2006

  • Guy 1: Did you know you can sell one of your testicles for a hundred thousand dollars? They even give you a little plastic one to replace it.
    Guy 2: No. That's kind of weird.
    Guy 1: I would totally go one ball for a hundred thousand.

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but is she afraid of the weinerschnitzel?

13 [+ / -]     Mar 21, 2006

  • Girl: German things make me sick. You know, like Jagermeister, Warsteiner. It must be a Jew thing.

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somebody call tony robbins

24 [+ / -]     Mar 20, 2006

  • Guy 1: She is totally your type.
    Guy 2: Her? I've known her for years.
    Guy 1: But she's totally your type.
    Guy 2: No, she's not my type.
    Guy 1: Why not?
    Guy 2: She's successful.

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you can tell he's a med student

-24 [+ / -]     Mar 18, 2006

  • Guy: Its either I have Strep throat or diabetes...

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death by tecumbay!

26 [+ / -]     Mar 17, 2006

  • Guy: So there's these three explorers and their ship goes down and they wash up on this desert island and they start to look for people to help them and the natives of the island capture them.
  • (Girl slowly turns her head and points at the black guy sitting next to her)
  • Black guy: Fuck you!!!

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when flowers just won't work

-11 [+ / -]     Mar 16, 2006

  • Guy 1: What are you up to man?
    Guy 2: Just sending off another contentious letter to my ex-wife.
    Guy 1: Ahh. How did the last one work out?
    Guy 2: Oh, she fully... appreciated it.

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he's clearly a physics major

-4 [+ / -]     Mar 16, 2006

  • Guy: See? I'm not as dumb as you think.
  • (Guy proceeds to throw a chocolate covered espresso bean in the air to try to catch it in his mouth but hits himself in the face)

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a f(el)ine argument

25 [+ / -]     Mar 15, 2006

  • Girl 1: You'd think living with a bunch of cats would be better than marrying someone you did't love.
    Girl 2: Not if you're allergic to cats.

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no.

-23 [+ / -]     Mar 13, 2006

  • Guy: Oh my god my dwarves are about to gang bang my minotaurs.
    Girl: Can we put that on Overheard in Athens?

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no, but i found waldo

-20 [+ / -]     Mar 12, 2006

  • Guy: Where are my keys? I can't find my keys! Has anyone seen a baby?

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they say it's is healthier, anyway

18 [+ / -]     Mar 08, 2006

  • Girl 1: What's your staple crop?
    Girl 2: Your mom.
    Girl 1: What happens when she's gone.
    Girl 2: I'll probably switch to wheat.

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i dunno, that bearded lady is pretty hot

36 [+ / -]     Mar 07, 2006

  • Guy: Don't you ever just like go to a county fair and see all the people there and then feel a hell of a lot better about your own life?



    (silence)



    Guy: No? How about Wal-Mart?

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imagine the heatsink on her

3 [+ / -]     Mar 01, 2006

  • Girl: I'm Windows compatable. Plug and play.
    Guy: I would, but I'm afraid you'd crash.
    Girl: Oh, I've got enough RAM.

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but www.fuckewe.com is available!

23 [+ / -]     Feb 28, 2006

  • Girl: He will buy domain names on a drunken whim.
    Guy: Yeah, we have like 40 domain names because of him. Since he quit drinking we haven't bought a single domain name.

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i suggest the one with the freeze-dried strawberries

0 [+ / -]     Feb 28, 2006

  • Girl: Mmm, gonorrhea... I'd like a bowl for breakfast.

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oia looks where the sun don't shine

-10 [+ / -]     Feb 27, 2006

  • Guy: Please kick me in the crotch.

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that's what billy madison said

31 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2006

  • Guy 1: I have no idea what a meter is, but it sounds really fuckin' tall.
    Guy 2: That's about 39 inches.
    Guy 1: That's a huge fuckin' penguin!

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just imagine the cramps

-8 [+ / -]     Feb 23, 2006

  • Girl: Nobody wants to fuck on a full stomach.
    Guy: Heh.

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a gay man's dream

2 [+ / -]     Feb 22, 2006

  • Guy 1: That won't do anything for me man.
    Guy 2: Yeah it will. I can deep throat and tickle it at the same time.

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the third, of course, being little women

56 [+ / -]     Feb 21, 2006

  • Guy: I've read three books in my entire life, two of them had to do with a curious monkey and a man in a yellow hat.

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you tell that bitch

-3 [+ / -]     Feb 21, 2006

  • Guy walks outside and sees a big black dog tied to the hinge of the door. He turns to the dog.
  • Guy: I went to Cedar Shoals.

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twat? i cunt hear you

37 [+ / -]     Feb 20, 2006

  • Guy: I totally was tuning you out until I heard the word 'vagina'... what?

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i guess darwin was right

6 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2006

  • Girl: Yeah, isn't he cute?
    Guy: Yeah... I want to kill 'im.

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well, they say family always comes first

2 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2006

  • Ball Cap: Here's the problem.
    Backwards Ball Cap: Tell me.
    Ball Cap: I wanna fuck her... but she's Weismann's sister!

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that's alliteration, actually

-20 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2006

  • Guy: Their names have kind of like this onomatopoeia to them... like Dave Dennis, Randal Ryley, uh... Kyle Konk...

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jazzy j will miss you too

-11 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2006

  • Girl: I need to say goodbye to the tall skinny black man.

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"...and they still taste like ass"

25 [+ / -]     Feb 17, 2006

  • Guy: God, I haven't smoked a Marlboro Light since the fuckin' eigth grade!

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the classic city loves the vd

-15 [+ / -]     Feb 14, 2006

  • Guy walks into a room...
  • Guy: It's a little bit infected.

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the classic city loves the vd

-16 [+ / -]     Feb 14, 2006

  • Girl 1: Do you have a nice black bottom I could borrow
    Girl 2: Well... I was with a Pacific Islander last weekend... is that good enough?

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the classic city loves the vd

6 [+ / -]     Feb 14, 2006

  • Girl: I just realized that "secret pal" does not mean what I thought it did.

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oia salutes pretentious peop... i mean writers

-17 [+ / -]     Feb 13, 2006

  • Brit: I wish I had been born in 1984. It would be so much cooler to write.

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i imagine it would be painful to get around anywhere...

21 [+ / -]     Feb 11, 2006

  • Girl: Yeah, he's supposed to go to law school. Can you take care of that?
    Guy: It's hard to get in to law school with a child porn charge and some coke shoved up your ass.

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it was only a matter of time before he made it on here

-9 [+ / -]     Feb 10, 2006

  • Jazzy J: You gonna come see my show?
    Guy: Where are you playing?
    Jazzy J: I'm playin' two shows! At Insomnia and Classic City!
    Guy: At the same time?

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hi, i'm miles.. as in mile high

34 [+ / -]     Feb 10, 2006

  • Girl 1: Barbera Bush is the reason I sometimes introduce myself as Barbera.
    Girl 2: I tell people my name is Taxi because that's where I was conceived.

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so if policemen had proms...

29 [+ / -]     Feb 09, 2006

  • Girl: Have you heard about those all black condoms? They call them tuxedos.
    Guy: Your penis would look like a night stick.

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effin-h effin-u effin-h ?

-10 [+ / -]     Feb 09, 2006

  • Guy: Somebody used the f word. He's used to the Brooklyn alphabet. Effin-a effin-b effin-c.

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overheard in athens not quite uncut

-2 [+ / -]     Feb 06, 2006

  • Girl: He was totally Jewish about it except he wasnt circumsized.

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overheard in athens not quite uncut

-12 [+ / -]     Feb 06, 2006

  • Guy: My circumcision was done in the shape of a Canadian leaf.

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he was dilly dallying around

-25 [+ / -]     Feb 05, 2006

  • Guy with dill chips: These chips are "dill-icious"

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avocados, obviously

-4 [+ / -]     Feb 05, 2006

  • Guy 1: I use that Garnier Fructose stuff. It puts like lemon juice in my hair.
    Guy 2: That's one way to get your vitamin C.
    Girl: So how do you get your protein?

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we hope you find this one.. moving

-22 [+ / -]     Feb 03, 2006

  • Girl: A sphincter is not a slicer. This is true.

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just call it a crapper

-23 [+ / -]     Feb 01, 2006

  • Guy: It's time to go to the urination and feceation station.

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let's hope it's not malignant

12 [+ / -]     Jan 30, 2006

  • Girl: Oh my god!
    Guy: Huh?
    Girl: I thought there was a blister on my finger but it was cheese.
    Guy: Dumbass.

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but we could all see her roots showing...

13 [+ / -]     Jan 30, 2006

  • Girl: I used to be rich when I was blonde.

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"i found him.. in little pieces"

-5 [+ / -]     Jan 29, 2006

  • Guy: Someone tried to save me today.. on Starcraft.
    Girl: Crazy!
    Guy: They were like "Have you found Jesus?"
    Girl: You should have said "Yeah.. I just blew him up!"
    Guy: Well, I was occupying Israel.

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take away the "t" and it's funnier

8 [+ / -]     Jan 29, 2006

  • Guy 1: You were a bible thumper?
    Guy 2: I dabbled

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he let the dogs out

-31 [+ / -]     Nov 30, 2005

  • Guy: Do you like beastiality?

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would you like some of my pork-barrel?

9 [+ / -]     Nov 30, 2005

  • Guy: Who watches committee meetings on TV?

    Girl: The same people who watch C-SPAN.

    Girl: Talk to me dirty, Mr. Cheney!

    Guy: I love your big long... filibuster.

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i, idiot

5 [+ / -]     Nov 29, 2005

  • Hipster Guy: I'm freezing my Asimov!
  • Eavesdropper: As long as he doesn't harm a human being.

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