Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link
 

Quotes from "Journalism"


if you're on the meal plan you get all the coke you can handle

18 [+ / -]     Apr 21, 2010

  • Professor: If you look around campus, you'll notice you can't find Pepsi products anywhere. It's cause we're a Coke school. We have all this Coke money.
  • (students chuckle)
  • Professor: (confused) What? Why am I so funny today?

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what i meant to say is that i would totally fuck him

21 [+ / -]     Dec 10, 2009

  • Teacher: I'm a member of the Kevin Smith cult-fan club. I would absolutely drink his Kool Aid.
  • (awkward pause)
  • Teacher: That... came out wrong.

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billmurraphobia: a fear of insignificant holidays

48 [+ / -]     Feb 04, 2009

  • Italian Teacher: Can someone please explain to me what Groundhog Day is?
  • Sorostitute: It's like all these paparazzi are around this groundhog and everyone makes a big deal about it, and the mayor of the town shows up, and it's supposed to say how cold it's going to be. It's just an excuse for Boondock, Pennsylvania to feel important.

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che frattastica!

117 [+ / -]     Jan 10, 2009

  • Teacher: (in Italian) What are some of the physical attributes of an average UGA student?
  • (Students offer suggestions)
  • Teacher: (in Italian) Short hair, blond hair, medium height, sportive. What else?
  • Student: How do you say North Face in Italian?

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it only makes you think you're horny

68 [+ / -]     Nov 18, 2008

  • Guy 1: So it's a libido?
  • Guy 2: You mean placebo.
  • Guy 1: Oh... yeah.

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zack and miri don't make a porno

-30 [+ / -]     Nov 10, 2008

  • Guy: She makes more money than I do!
  • Girl: I don't care. I'd rather be poor and keep my twat in my pants.

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a regular don juan

201 [+ / -]     Nov 02, 2008

  • Spanish Professor: Soon you will begin to prepare for the oral sex. O dios mio! I mean test! Test!

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sir, are you asking me for a loan?

98 [+ / -]     Oct 03, 2008

  • Teacher: Does anyone know where we can find Alexander Hamilton today?
  • Student: In the ground?

    Teacher: (gives a blank look) No, I meant he's on the ten-dollar bill.

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stereotype confirmed

63 [+ / -]     Sep 27, 2008

  • Georgia Fan: Are you guys, like, cousins?
  • Alabama Guy and Girl: How'd you know!?

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what goes up...

17 [+ / -]     Aug 29, 2008

  • (Guy steps onto an elevator and presses 1)
  • Freshman Girl: You know this is going up, right?
  • Guy: It's an elevator, honey. It'll go back down.

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did you cover that in women's studies?

20 [+ / -]     May 16, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1:She needs to just admit that she's a slut.
  • Sorostitute 2: I know. I've woken up in strange guys beds with serious bruises and I've never cried rape.

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the naming committee toiled over the decision for months

27 [+ / -]     Apr 26, 2008

  • Professor: So I hear this bike race is kind of a big deal. What's it called?
  • Student 1: Twilight Criterium.
  • Student 2: That's a funny name.
  • Student 1: It means "nighttime bike race."

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good thing you can just buy new ones

37 [+ / -]     Apr 15, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: They swore me to secrecy, but since they're not my friends anymore I'm telling everyone.
  • Sorostitute 2: Yeah, fuck them.

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stiff, bored stiff

30 [+ / -]     Apr 12, 2008

  • Girl: So, like if I said a character was James Bond-esque in a book, would I need to be worried about being sued for copyright violations?
  • Professor: No, you'd need to worry about your book being incredibly boring.

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hot is the new cold

-28 [+ / -]     Apr 03, 2008

  • Guy 1: It was so hot in our house last night I couldn't get to sleep.
  • Guy 2: I know, I woke up at 2 AM and saw that it was 78 degrees, so I turned the heat on to 74 to cool it down.
  • Guy 1: Dude, you realize that did nothing.
  • Guy 2: Nah, it makes it blow cooler heat, and cools down the house.

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oh of course not, silly goose!

123 [+ / -]     Mar 31, 2008

  • Fratty 1: Dude, sorry I never called you back last night.
  • Fratty 2: It's okay, I just ended up watching a movie.
  • Fratty 1: You didn't watch Ratatouille yet, did you!?

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good thing they just added more points to the SAT. we're safe.

51 [+ / -]     Dec 13, 2007

  • Fratty: Dude, UGA is gonna get nerdy. The median SAT is like 1230. It used to be like 1050. So in 10 years it's gonna be a nerd school like UVA.

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don't all raise your hands at once

98 [+ / -]     Sep 18, 2007

  • Professor: In discussion of the prominance of seeing women's breasts on film... how many of you have seen a bunch of penises popping up?
  • (Silence)
  • Professor: Wow, talk about a bad freudian slip.

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yeah, like you could pick buddha out of a lineup

-51 [+ / -]     Apr 05, 2007

  • (Jouralism student is typing practice headlines)
  • Chinese grad student: (reading) "Jesus found hiding in pantry, wanted to bake loaf of bread." Who is Jesus?
  • Journalism student: Jesus Christ.
  • Chinese grad student: Oh, you mean like, the man or son of God.
  • Journalism student: Yeah, that guy.

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the scientific method in action

59 [+ / -]     Dec 11, 2006

  • Guy 1: Is it true if you get hit my a campus bus you get straight As for the semester?
  • Guy 2: I dunno, but I'll push you, let's find out.

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three down is "nuclear arsenal"

12 [+ / -]     Nov 04, 2006

  • Professor: I have here a copy of a foreign policy journal if you would like to look over it. I think it is beneficial to this class.
  • Student: Does it have a crossword in the back?

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110% of it will be too hard for these guys

18 [+ / -]     Oct 22, 2006

  • Girl 1: So, is the final in this class cumulative?
  • Girl 2: Umm... I think 70% of it is from the chapters we will be studying at the time and 40% is from past chapters.
  • Girl 1: Oh, okay!

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voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

112 [+ / -]     Oct 19, 2006

  • Male french prof: Don't guess at the gender of a noun. Just look it up. Always play it safe. Speaking of being safe, always use a condom. I always carry condoms, just in case someone tries to have sex with me. I have some with me now in my briefcase if you want me to show you...

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stuck in the week with the weekender blues again

53 [+ / -]     Apr 21, 2006

  • Girl 1: How was your weekend?
    Girl 2: It was good, but I'm looking forward to next weekend.
    Girl 1: What's next weekend?
    Girl 2: Just... the weekend.

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go long

12 [+ / -]     Apr 07, 2006

  • Girl: I'd rather be not fat than really smart. I think that'll get me further in life.

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