Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link
 

Quotes from "Library"


and they say guys aren't romantic

100 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2010

  • Girl: My boyfriend didn't even give me flowers for Valentine's Day.
  • Guy: He cooked you a steak. That's how men show love, by giving people meat.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


that's the irish swine flu

-24 [+ / -]     Nov 12, 2009

  • Guy on cell: Swine flu, or did you drink too much last night?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


because nothing sparks philosophical debate like keystone light

46 [+ / -]     Nov 11, 2009

  • Guy on cell: So, there are a few points of Aristotelian philosophy I want to talk to you about.
  • (pause)
  • Guy on cell: Yeah, I'll pick up the keg.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


what's red and green and all over the lawn?

9 [+ / -]     Aug 21, 2009

  • 40-something Guy: (looking at a Sesame Street poster) I never liked Kermit the Frog. I always had an overwhelming urge to throw him in a wood chipper. There was just somethin' not right about that critter.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


if you're lucky

-50 [+ / -]     Apr 17, 2009

  • Fratty: Sex? Isn't that spread orally?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


not what they mean by women's studies

200 [+ / -]     Apr 05, 2009

  • (In the library at 1:00 am)
  • Guy 1: (walking in) So dude, where are we on the project?
  • Guy 2: Nowhere. I've spent the last two hours constructing a flow chart on how to get into the pants of the girl at the table next to me.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


and thus began uga's synchronized shitting team

61 [+ / -]     Feb 05, 2009

  • Fratty: Hey, have you seen a group of, like, seven guys down here?
  • Student Employee: No, not unless they're all in the bathroom.
  • Fratty: Ah! Okay, thanks.
  • (Fratty walks towards bathroom)

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece


there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

-50 [+ / -]     Jan 08, 2009

  • Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! What are you doing in Athens?!
  • (Pause)
  • Sober Guy: I live here.
  • Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! Me too!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


there needs to be a better tie breaker for "not it"

76 [+ / -]     Dec 26, 2008

  • Girl 1: So this drunk homeless guy peed himself in one of the library chairs yesterday.
  • Girl 2: Who cleaned it?
  • Girl 1: No one... they just put a sign on it that said, "Do not sit in this chair."

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece


i don't think his required as much preparation

-53 [+ / -]     Dec 13, 2008

  • Straight Guy: After this test I have an oral exam in Spanish.
  • Gay Guy: Oh, I had an oral this morning, too. It was good!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


that misconception isn't quite as common as the other

107 [+ / -]     Oct 06, 2008

  • Girl 1: So where in England are you from?
  • Girl 2: No, that's a common misconception. Actually, I'm from South Africa.
  • Girl 1: Oh! I meant where in Europe!
  • Girl 2: Uh... no, not that either.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


four-thirds of people don't understand fractions

-5 [+ / -]     Jun 18, 2008

  • Guy: If you tried to do all that stuff, you'd be up 24/7 like 4 days a week.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


they're growing up so fast

64 [+ / -]     May 04, 2008

  • (Girl, about 9 or 10 years old, is holding small paper bag, leaving the Athens-Clarke County Public Library)
  • Girl: (to her father) They let me have my stuff in this little brown paper bag! I felt like I was leavin' the jailhouse.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


parents have their homework, too

88 [+ / -]     May 02, 2008

  • Girl on Cell: I'm going to the library, mom.
  • (pause)
  • Girl on Cell: No, not the bar. The UGA library. Wait, why do you know about the bar called The Library?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece


"...i have no idea what you're talking about, but count me in!"

-59 [+ / -]     Mar 18, 2008

  • Female Professor: Hey, how are ya?
  • Male Professor: Good morning.
  • Female Professor: Hey, I'm gonna bake your cookies tonight.
  • Male Professor: Okay!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


the fake one will be just fine

97 [+ / -]     Mar 01, 2008

  • Librarian: I'm going to have to see some form of ID.
  • Sorostitute: What do you mean by ID?
  • Librarian: Your ass crack, what else?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (8) | Speak Your Piece


that train's left the parking lot

-83 [+ / -]     Feb 10, 2008

  • Girl 1: What's that saying? Denial isn't just a river, it's a...
  • Girl 2: What are you talking about?
  • Girl 1: You know, denial...
  • Girl 2: You've lost your metaphor.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


only if you're doing it wrong

51 [+ / -]     Jan 23, 2008

  • Girl 1: (proofreading a paper out loud) A minute portion of alcohol...
  • Girl 2: But doesn't how much a person can drink in a minute depend on, like, the person?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


now, onto "the universe" and "everything"

141 [+ / -]     Dec 11, 2007

  • Girl: I just finished my first final. The question was "What is life?"
  • Professor: It's a fine magazine and a delicious cereal.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


except during a leap year

51 [+ / -]     Oct 17, 2007

  • Girl: Guess what, guys? Steven Colbert just announced that he might be running for President on The Daily Show!
  • Sorostitute: Oh wow. Does that show come on every day?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


atlas shrugs

50 [+ / -]     Oct 10, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: Do people live in South America?
  • Sorostitute 2: Duh, that's where Spain is.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


we're still trying to figure out why the teacher is hanging out at a freshman bar

118 [+ / -]     Jun 11, 2007

  • Drunk fratty 1: Man, that chick is so hot!
  • Drunk fratty 2: Dude, yeah man. Hey baby, can I buy you a drink?
  • Woman: I don't know if you're aware of this Sam, but I am your english teacher.
  • Drunk fratty 1: Man, I think she said no.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


they're l33t hax0rs... when they aren't looking at pr0n

-60 [+ / -]     May 02, 2007

  • Fratty 1: Hey man, I had us computers over there (pointing to the public use computers).
  • Fratty 2: No way, those computers smell bad.
  • Fratty 1: Huh?
  • Fratty 2: Yeah, they smell like homeless people, because they like use them.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


we have a science library?

56 [+ / -]     Dec 05, 2006

  • Sorostitute in training: Do you know where the R's are?
  • Girl: I'm not sure. Did the catalog system say they're on this floor?
  • Sorostitute in training: Yeah, it said fourth floor Science Library.
  • Girl: Oh. Well, this is the Main Library.
  • Sorostitute in training: This sucks.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


inspector clouseau would be so proud

-21 [+ / -]     Oct 18, 2006

  • Girl on cell: Are you going to the party? Well, I'm gonna go as the Pink Panther. I saw this corset at Victoria's Secret that I wanna wear, and then I'll wear some stilettos and a tail. And I figure I'll paint my nose pink.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


gigli was a real page turner

9 [+ / -]     Jul 23, 2006

  • Lady: How could there be a movie without a book? They make movies sometimes on their own?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


i guess you can tell a book by its cover

33 [+ / -]     Jun 18, 2006

  • Young sorority girl in library: The Library is just like the SLC, except there are so many more books here.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


good thing she switched her major from english

38 [+ / -]     May 24, 2006

  • Aspiring sorostitute: I love math. It's just so hard and beticulous... or whatever that word is.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


days of our lives will return after this short break

145 [+ / -]     Apr 30, 2006

  • Girl 1: I just found out some disturbing news... my boyfriend has a girlfriend.
    Girl 2: Really? Does your husband know that you have a boyfriend?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece