Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

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Quotes from "Mell"


better safe than stupid

119 [+ / -]     May 05, 2009

  • Sorostitute: I went the hospital last night.
  • Friend: Oh my God, why!?
  • Sorostitute: Well, at like 3:00 AM I ate a bunch of food and looked up diabetes on the Internet and I thought I had it, so I called an ambulance. But they said I'm good.

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google officially replaces dog as man's best friend

9 [+ / -]     Nov 17, 2008

  • Girl: (walking with two guys) I did look up "blow-job how to."

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how easily we forget they're actually the same thing

-5 [+ / -]     May 15, 2008

  • Girl: They are virgins. I think they only want to get married so they can have sex.
  • Guy: Why don't they just fuck before they have sex? Wait...

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first day? aw, how precious!

78 [+ / -]     Dec 17, 2007

  • Drunk girl: Do you have Sweet Water?
  • Bartender: No, we only have regular water here.

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this just in, hippie cigarettes cause cancer AND stupidity

124 [+ / -]     Nov 19, 2007

  • Girl 1: Man, I really want a cigarette.
  • Girl 2: Ok, go smoke one.
  • Girl 1: Well, its not like I'm addicted to them or anything. I got the non-addictive kind!
  • Girl 2: What? I didn't think they made those.
  • Girl 1: Yes they do! (She holds up a pack of American Spirits) See, it says "addictive-free!"
  • Girl 2: Oh. Um. No, that says additive-free, not addictive-free.
  • Girl 1: Ohmigod! For, like, a year I thought that said "addictive-free!"

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funniest way to come out, ever

52 [+ / -]     May 16, 2007

  • Guy 1: So I looked through that box of stuff your mom gave me to take back to give to you.
  • Guy 2: Why did you do that?
  • Guy 1: Why did she put an "Everything You Need to Know About Cushions" article and a "Herpes 101" pamphlet in a magazine for you?
  • Guy 2: (awkward silence)

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he's just a little squirt

44 [+ / -]     Mar 30, 2006

  • Father: (to young child) Go ahead, piss on yourself, I don't care.
  • (Turns to our table)
  • Father: This is the reason for birth control.

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