Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

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Quotes from "Parking lot"


broken defroster or lesbian walk of shame?

-24 [+ / -]     Jan 01, 2010

  • (Two girls are getting out of a steamy car and start walking back towards the dorm)
  • Girl 1: Don't you think people will find it intriguing that two girls are coming out of a steamy car?
  • (Girl 2 starts walking away from Girl 1 with her head towards the ground)

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i'm never eating at mcdonald's again

-29 [+ / -]     Dec 12, 2008

  • Guy: Yeah, basically you just do an Internet thing to learn how to cook everything. Its an easy job. You can come in high all the time.

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"...it's not my fault, i can't see anything without my glasses"

93 [+ / -]     Apr 25, 2008

  • Cop: Ma'am, do you realize that you went the wrong way through this one-way circle and that you're parked illegally?
  • Woman: I'm sorry, I didn't know.
  • Cop: Oh, I understand. Those giant white arrows are a little confusing.

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"...well i had some quarters, but i couldn't find the damn meter"

187 [+ / -]     Mar 07, 2008

  • (Fratty is getting a parking ticket on campus)
  • Fratty: Hey, sorry about that. That's my fraternity house right there and I just parked her for a minute so if you could take this back, that would be awesome and I'll move my car.
  • Parking Services Lady: Honey, I truly am sorry, but it's printed now, and there isn't anything I can do. But you have a good day honey.
  • (She walks a few steps and turns)
  • Parking Services Lady: Actually, baby, you ain't gonna have a good day. I don't know if you've opened that, but that's a $40 ticket right there.

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how many points do you get for a boyfriend?

-16 [+ / -]     Oct 19, 2007

  • Sober girl: Oh my God, you almost killed your boyfriend!
  • Tipsy girl: Hey! It was my car that hit him!
  • Sober girl: But you were driving it!

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is that a world record for mixed messages?

-13 [+ / -]     Oct 05, 2007

  • (In a church parking lot)
  • Pre-schooler: I don't wanna go to school.
  • Mom: That's it I have had it with you, you little shit! You are getting punished. I'm sending you to counseling!

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any fresher and you'd have to slap it

49 [+ / -]     May 07, 2007

  • Boxer-clad Fratty on cell: I just got the freshest hair cut imaginable. It's so fresh. I'm gonna have to shave every day to match this haircut. Oh my god, it's so fresh. Freshest haircut imaginable.

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it is like gold in my country

61 [+ / -]     Apr 26, 2007

  • Drunk sorostitute: Hey... are y'all going downtown? Can I get a ride?!
  • Sober driver: How much money do you have in your purse?
  • Drunk sorostitute: Uhh, like 5 beers?

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hopefully he won't spend the 1.8 dollars all in one place

9 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2007

  • Redneck 1: I just left 20 pesos on the table for a tip.
  • Redneck 2: Are you serious?
  • Redneck 1: Fuck yeah man.

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man, i hate that guy

-3 [+ / -]     Feb 27, 2007

  • Bum: Excuse me, excuse me miss...
  • Girl: I have to go to work, sir.
  • Bum: Miss, ain't you a Christian, miss?
  • Girl: No!

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you had me at hello

22 [+ / -]     Nov 16, 2006

  • Sorostitute 1: Hey girl!
  • Sorostitute 2: I lost three pounds today!

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a really long bridge

24 [+ / -]     Sep 22, 2006

  • Roomie 1: Wow, look at that tag. It's from Hawaii. You don't see that everyday.
  • Roomie 2: Cool! How did they drive it here?

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but they don't have all the highlighting

20 [+ / -]     May 10, 2006

  • (After bags fall off a moving cart)
  • Brumby Girl: God dammit, now my bible is getting dirty.
    Boyfriend: You can get those for free at hotels, you know.

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