Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link
 

Quotes from "Ramsey"


does that satisfy my multicultural credit?

-2 [+ / -]     Aug 24, 2010

  • Jock 1: Remember that girl with the really weird pants on the first day?
  • Jock 2: Yeah.
  • Jock 1: She's not from America... how much more sense does that make now?

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and now, the main event

12 [+ / -]     Jan 28, 2010

  • Sorostitute 1: It's always good to have a friend crazier than you. It's like insurance!
  • Sorostitute 2: Huh? How?
  • Sorostitute 1: You're never the shittiest shitshow. You're always second shitshow.

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how about "purell"?

7 [+ / -]     Oct 11, 2009

  • (While doing the Damn Show crossword puzzle)
  • Guy 1: A stripper's investment...hmm.
  • Guy 2: Would that be "vagina"?

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i'm kind of a big deal...

106 [+ / -]     Mar 26, 2009

  • Fratty 1: Dude, you have a boner.
  • Fratty 2: (looks at his crotch) Don't act like you're not impressed.

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hope she scores a perfect 320%

20 [+ / -]     Mar 03, 2009

  • Sorostitute: So our final for that class is gonna be eight questions, which scares me because that means each one is worth, like, 40% of the test.

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when she stops lying, she can finally become a real blond

97 [+ / -]     Feb 10, 2009

  • (During a weight lifting class)
  • Girl 1: I want blonder hair. I think I'm going to get highlights.
  • Girl 2: Yeah, my hair is naturally blond, but for some reason my roots come out brown.

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we vote that the cowgirl position be renamed to "the human shield"

223 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2009

  • Girl 1: So, my boyfriend came home with me for Christmas to meet my parents.
  • Girl 2: How did that go?
  • Girl 1: Well, my Dad got a shotgun for Christmas, and he held it up and told Jack that if he ever caught him fooling around with me, he would shoot him right there. Then Jack said that would be really hard if I was on top!

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to help with concentration during sex

-82 [+ / -]     Oct 02, 2008

  • Girl 1: So I really need to go to the drug store.
  • Girl 2: Why?
  • Girl 1: I have to pick up my Adderall and birth control.

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"i just flew in all the way from cincinnati..."

-41 [+ / -]     Oct 01, 2007

  • Sorostitute: Omigosh, my arms are so sore. I totally worked them out last night.
  • Fratty: Uh-huh.
  • Sorostitute: Feel my pecs and see!
  • Fratty: If I did that, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be muscle I would feel. Your pecs are in the chest.
  • Sorostitute: Well... you said the boob job would be a good idea!

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tailgating requires that we severely alter our priorities

129 [+ / -]     Sep 14, 2007

  • Girl 1: You've gotta come with me on Friday. My boyfriend is having a huge party with a couple of kegs. It'll be great!
  • Girl 2: Sorry, I can't. I have to get up early on Saturday and drink.

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your drinking binge could feed a family of five

27 [+ / -]     Mar 01, 2007

  • Professor: As you see a margarita has 550 calories, a beer has 110 or 140 depending on whether or not it's light, and long island iced teas have 440.
  • Sorostitute: Oh my god. From now on I am only taking shots. Or drinking rum and diets.

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i've heard it takes a little while longer for films to be released up there

-17 [+ / -]     Jan 26, 2007

  • T.A.: Ok, we're going to go around the room and everyone is going to say what they would take to Mars if they were moving there and never ever coming back.
  • Sorostitute: Gee... um... I think definitely... my DVD of The Notebook!

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isn't that half the point?

60 [+ / -]     Oct 03, 2006

  • Guy 1: Man, I hate the multicultural requirement.Guy 2: I know, I'm taking Native American Literature and it sucks.Guy 1: See, if we destroy a culture we shouldn't have to study it.

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it's like a virgin teaching sex ed

25 [+ / -]     Sep 28, 2006

  • Girl 1: My nutrition class is so annoying... the teacher is from Ghana and I cant' understand him.Girl 2: That's interesting. I didn't know they had food in Ghana... how can he be a nutrition teacher?

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some people never learn

69 [+ / -]     Jun 13, 2006

  • Guy: Does it ever seem like I never listen to you?
    Girl: Yeah, all the time.
    Guy: And yet you still keep talking...

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i want to be the only person to ride a pony to class

-18 [+ / -]     May 19, 2006

  • Dumb girl: I want a sport bike. I will be the only girl on campus with a sport bike.Smart girl: Yeah, actually there are two lesbians on campus that have purple bikes and ride together.Dumb girl: Oh! Well I'm going to get a pink one.

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