Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

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Quotes from "The Grill"


have you had your break today?

9 [+ / -]     Aug 05, 2009

  • Drunk girl: Would you rather pay $1.89 first thing in the morning for an Egg McMuffin or pussy?
  • Drunk guy 1: Am I in love with the girl?
  • Drunk guy 2: Well, I if I had to choose between a McGriddle and a blow job first thing in the morning, the McGriddle wins every time.
  • Drunk guy 1: That's like a trick question.
  • Drunk guy 2: Dude, have you had a McGriddle?

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they aren't known for their self-esteem

41 [+ / -]     Jun 08, 2009

  • Host: How many are in your party?
  • Sorostitute: (counts everyone) One, two, three, four, five... five.
  • Host: Did you count yourself?
  • Sorostitute: (counts again) One, two, three, four, five, six... six.

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the townie version of "one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer"

52 [+ / -]     Jun 30, 2008

  • Drunk guy placing an order: Yeah, can i get a chocolate shake, a PBR and a water?

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"...i'll have what he's having"

-15 [+ / -]     Apr 21, 2008

  • Gay Guy 1: (talking about food) That is going straight to your ass!
  • Gay Guy 2: Yeah, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it!

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things that make you want to go "ew" for 500, alex

71 [+ / -]     Dec 18, 2007

  • Middle-aged man: Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess it is a little weird for me to buy another guy's wife a tattoo. But, I mean, she is having my baby.

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at least she's still technically a virgin

248 [+ / -]     Dec 03, 2007

  • Townie girl 1: So you've never been tested for any STDs?
  • Townie girl 2: No, no way. Those needles scare the shit out of me, plus I usually only have anal so I don't think I can even get an STD.
  • Waiter guy: Well, I was going to ask if you wanted your check but... so let me get this right... you're afraid of a needle, but will let a guy stick... never mind, there is way too much wrong with that statement. I don't know where to start. You can pay at the register and may God have mercy on your kids.

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some places need a home-brewed field sobriety test

149 [+ / -]     Aug 20, 2007

  • Host: If she can walk from there to this wall she can come in.
  • Sorostitute: (wearing 21st birthday tiara) Marg glark onion rings glock nmum...
  • Host: I'm sorry. She can't come in.

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proof that guys can fake it, too

210 [+ / -]     Apr 12, 2007

  • Drunk guy: (yelling into cell) Do not bother with the test! You are not pregnant. I did not ejaculate that night!

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strange, given that darkness is the source of warmth

42 [+ / -]     Mar 09, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: It sure gets cold when the sun goes down
  • Sorostitute 2: I know right?

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they're already married to god

-7 [+ / -]     Aug 16, 2006

  • Freshman 1: But, I mean, someone has to have made a series of religiously themed porn already. Freshman 2: Yeah, its got to be someone's fetish.Freshman 3: Well, they have nun porn, you know.Freshmen 1 and 2: ...Freshman 3: But not, like, real nuns.

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men are from mars, women are from planet crazytown

62 [+ / -]     Jun 19, 2006

  • Huge guy studying: So anyway, are you even listening to me. I thought you were going to help me study.
  • Girlfriend: (totally serious) Baby, I'm sorry but I don't care about electricity of your planet. On my planet, we power everything through the collective energy produced by our orgasms.
  • Huge guy: R-i-i-i-ght.
  • Girlfriend: Once your planet is assimilated, you'll understand the perfection of our ways.

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then elvira came from nowhere and pimpslapped him

10 [+ / -]     Mar 27, 2006

  • Guy: Yeah, goth women just don't turn me on. There's nothing that makes me limper than velvet and cobwebs.

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