Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

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Quotes submitted by "Me"

automatic for the people

33 [+ / -]     Jun 09, 2010

  • (Girl spills her drink all over the table and screams)
  • Dexter Weaver: (from the back) Did it get on your plate?
  • Girl: Nope.
  • Dexter Weaver: Ok, good. Next!

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9th grade was hard on all of us

69 [+ / -]     Sep 07, 2008

  • Guy Waiter: Can I get you guys anything for dessert?
  • Girl: Can I get the dirty chocolate bitch?
  • Guy Waiter: I haven't been called that in years.

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a message everyone should hear, brother

55 [+ / -]     May 20, 2008

  • Co-worker: Why do I smoke cigarettes? I have to be a role model to the kids to let them know that they too can be a 24-year-old waiter in a struggling rock band.

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loony is the new sexy

109 [+ / -]     Nov 13, 2007

  • Girl 1: Yeah, I went and saw my TA during his office hours. I was like, "I will doanything to get this grade fixed." And I put my hand on his knee and looked him in the eye. "Anything."
  • Girl 2: Oh, God, that's so Dawson's Creek.

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sex is one of the bare necessities

32 [+ / -]     Apr 04, 2007

  • Guy: What was it I heard the other day about "The Jungle Book" that made me horny?

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he has a crack addiction, of course

-45 [+ / -]     Mar 03, 2007

  • Fratty 1: Dude, are you wearing boxers cause I can see your crack.
  • Fratty 2: Um... No, but why the hell are you staring at my ass?

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one step closer to symmetry

1 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2007

  • Passenger: Why is only one of your front windows tinted?
  • Driver: Because the original door was crushed when I got t-boned and the replacement door had a tinted window.
  • Passenger: That's pretty ghetto, dude.
  • (Passenger rolls window halfway down and attempts to throw beer bottle out. Passenger misses and beer bottle shatters tinted window.)
  • Driver: Yeah, because shattering my ghetto-ass window is a marked improvement.

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only whores ride the orbit

-45 [+ / -]     Nov 09, 2006

  • Sorority girl: The Milledge bus is the place to see and be seen. You must look cute if you're going to ride it that day.

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i cherish the database entry that defines our friendship

-43 [+ / -]     Nov 09, 2006

  • Girl 1: Whats the date today?
  • Guy: November 7th.
  • Girl 2: Ohmigod, it's someone's birthday on MySpace!

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they cause cancer... not stupidity

-24 [+ / -]     Jun 16, 2006

  • Girl: Oh my goodness! Have you seen the new Camel Wides packs with the tatoo art?
    Guy: Yeah, that's my pack.
    Girl: Yeah I know, but have you seen them?

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he's clearly a physics major

-4 [+ / -]     Mar 16, 2006

  • Guy: See? I'm not as dumb as you think.
  • (Guy proceeds to throw a chocolate covered espresso bean in the air to try to catch it in his mouth but hits himself in the face)

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