Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link
 

Quotes Filed Under "At work"


it's in the back next to the 2010 super bowl

3 [+ / -]     Jul 02, 2009

  • Customer: Do you have the live action version of "Blood, The Last Vampire?"
  • Clerk: I didn't know there was one. Is it new or old?
  • Customer: I looked online and it said it comes out next month.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece


yes, i do work on commission. why do you ask?

11 [+ / -]     Jun 30, 2009

  • Girl: Can you tell me the differences between the Dodge Ram 1500 and the Ford F-150?
  • Car Salesman: I don't know much about cars, just what's on the sticker.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece


they decided to stop celebrating mardi gras after that

115 [+ / -]     May 17, 2009

  • Customer: Can I have a refill on my Dr. Pepper?
  • Cashier: Sure! Take your top off.
  • (Customer stares)

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


can i get that with an extra shot of "oh no she didn't!"

98 [+ / -]     May 08, 2009

  • Jittery Joe's Guy: White mocha?
  • (Girl 1 takes drink)
  • Jittery Joe's Guy: Non-fat white mocha with soy?
  • Girl 2: Um, I had just a regular white mocha.
  • Jittery Joe's Guy: Ugh, that skank took your shit!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (11) | Speak Your Piece


simpson?

64 [+ / -]     May 01, 2009

  • Student: Could you tell me how much Homer's Odyssey costs?
  • Info lady: Who's the author?
  • Student: Homer...

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (28) | Speak Your Piece


so, none of the above

7 [+ / -]     Mar 24, 2009

  • Drunk Girl: Um, can I like, get a taco please?
  • Cashier: Sure. What kind would you like? Steak, chicken, or chorizo?
  • Drunk Girl: Um, like, meat, I guess?
  • Cashier: Well, what kind of meat? Steak, chicken, or chorizo?
  • Drunk Girl: Um, you know, like that stuff that comes on tacos at Taco Bell?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (10) | Speak Your Piece


who loves the 1970s? we do!

20 [+ / -]     Mar 07, 2009

  • Store Associate: (referring to shirt boxes) There's so many tops and almost no bottoms!
  • Gay Store Manager: Baby, that's just Atlanta for ya!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


extra tender, juicy toes

15 [+ / -]     Mar 05, 2009

  • Pregnant technician: (looking at a pregnancy pamphlet) Okay, when it says "chicken is a good source of protein," do they mean fried chicken?
  • Pharmacist: Only if you want your baby to have extra toes.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


they're clearly from another planet, so the answer could be anything

-42 [+ / -]     Feb 23, 2009

  • Technician 1: How many toes are you supposed to have?
  • Technician 2: Uh... seriously?
  • Technician 1: Yes seriously, I haven't counted lately!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


speed dating is a growing trend in college towns

-48 [+ / -]     Feb 13, 2009

  • Female Customer: Do we bring back books here?
  • Male Employee: Yeah, I'll be your friend.
  • Female Employee: Wait, are you returning the books or doing Buy Back?
  • Female Customer: Returns.
  • Male Employee: Oh, I guess we can't be friends anymore.
  • Female Customer: Yeah. I don't love you anymore. It's over.
  • (Customer walk away)

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


sure, pull-ups, that's what they were gonna try

10 [+ / -]     Feb 11, 2009

  • (Couple gets on the bus)
  • Drunk Guy: So you think that the bus would be a good place to have some fun?
  • Drunk Girl: I'm not sure I could hold myself up that long.
  • Drunk Guy: Well let's try, I mean the bus driver isn't paying attention.
  • Driver: Umm, I don't really want to see her doing pull-ups on this bus.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


please stand behind the yellow line and keep everything in your pants

339 [+ / -]     Jan 18, 2009

  • Girl: No! I'm not going to do that on a bus.
  • Guy: Come on, no one is on the bus.
  • Girl: I'm not going down on you here. What about the driver?
  • Guy: He can't hear or see us where we are sitting.
  • Bus Driver: I can hear and see you.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece


some people just need the right motivation

56 [+ / -]     Jan 06, 2009

  • the standard employee bathroom sign edited for the greater good.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


stop, drop, and roll in the hay

-11 [+ / -]     Jan 04, 2009

  • Kind of hard to see, but the guy is smoking and spreading hay.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


so did we

71 [+ / -]     Dec 30, 2008

  • Clerk 1: So, I had some coffee this morning and... it didn't taste quite right, so I asked Cathy about it.
  • (long pause)
  • Clerk 1: She made it with decaf.
  • Clerk 2: (nodding) ...thought that story was gonna be a lot better.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


one of uga's lesser known pass / fail courses

67 [+ / -]     Dec 10, 2008

  • (Two passengers are made to walk from the back door to the front door)
  • Bus Driver: Sorry, I just had to check your sketch factor.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


there's no place like home

-13 [+ / -]     Nov 23, 2008

  • Employee Guy 1: (makes loud groaning noise) That's Chewbacca.
  • Employee Guy 2: Ain't that that guy from Wizard of Oz? You sound just like 'im!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


what happens when the change is $4.20?

7 [+ / -]     Nov 19, 2008

  • Redneck Clerk: $17.92 is your total. In 1792, Columbus sailed the ocean blue!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


this is why god gave us ebay

209 [+ / -]     Nov 10, 2008

  • Cashier: (on phone) Yeah, uh huh... sure, sure. Let me place you on hold for just a second, sir, while I go look.
  • (presses button on phone)
  • Cashier: (screaming) Hey! This perv wants to know if we have any inflatable male sex dolls! Do we?
  • Guy on Phone: Um, you put me on speaker phone, not hold. (click)

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


this is not a test... i repeat, this is not a test

71 [+ / -]     Nov 07, 2008

  • WatchDawgs guy fielding a call: I'm not a recording... really... you can talk directly to me.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


at least they don't have a "try before you buy" option

-96 [+ / -]     Nov 07, 2008

  • Female Customer: Do you have any hoop nose rings?
  • Stoner Employee: Well... I don't know, these are all mixed.
  • (Silence)
  • Stoner Employee: Oh, I know what happened...

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (13) | Speak Your Piece


whatever happened to the polite "no"?

156 [+ / -]     Nov 06, 2008

  • Girl (to Bus Driver): Can you hold the bus for 30 seconds? My friend is on her way.
  • Bus Driver: She the one walking way back there?
  • Girl: Yeah!
  • (Bus Driver closes door)

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece


c'mon, he was just trying to help

31 [+ / -]     Nov 04, 2008

  • Really Drunk Guy: (after throwing up on the patio, watching as the bouncer cleans up the mess) Hey you. "Staff," you missed a spot.
  • Bouncer: Yeah, and you're outta here.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


coffee might not be the only thing he puts in her cup

-4 [+ / -]     Oct 31, 2008

  • Sorostitute: So does the french roast, like, have coffee in it?
  • Barista: Uh... yeah.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


"...they just kept falling out of my pocket"

-24 [+ / -]     Oct 29, 2008

  • Drunk Guy: Hey I need help. I lost my car keys.
  • Bus Driver: Did you lose them on this bus?
  • Drunk Guy: I think they are up my ass.
  • Bus Driver: The police officer over there can help you!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


it's no longer hot corner. take it back to the mother ship.

-43 [+ / -]     Oct 21, 2008

  • Crazy guy: I'd like some french fries.
  • Barista: We don't have french fries.
  • Crazy guy: It says it on the menu.
  • Barista: That's french press, as in coffee.
  • Crazy guy: Oh. I'm the world champion, you know. I have a website. I also won a Grammy. Little Elvis they used to call me. Now they call me Big Elvis.
  • Barista: Uh-huh.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece


you have an urgent message from I. P. Freely

75 [+ / -]     Oct 11, 2008

  • (Overheard on the intercom at a local high school)
  • Secretary: Please excuse the interruption, but would Tess Stickle report to the main office.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


lately he just asks for the usual

246 [+ / -]     Oct 06, 2008

  • (On a late Sunday morning)
  • Guy: We would like one Plan B pill, please.
  • Pharmacist Guy: Here you go.
  • Guy: Hmmm, the price has gone up like fifteen bucks.
  • (Pharmacist guy's eyes go wide. Girl turns to Guy with equally wide eyes.)
  • Girl: Uh...
  • Guy: Yeah, that sounded bad.
  • Pharmacist guy: Soooo, this is like a regular post-date thing for you?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


thanks, now i'm gonna be analyzing this all night

-15 [+ / -]     Oct 05, 2008

  • Redneck Clerk 1: Y'know, I've always wondered that myself about them three little bears.
  • Redneck Clerk 2: Whaddya mean?
  • Redneck Clerk 1: Well, if the momma's porridge was too cold, and the daddy's porridge was too hot, how come the baby's was just right?
  • Redneck Clerk 2: Wow, I never thoughta that.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


"she" just loves keeping up with traffic news

10 [+ / -]     Oct 04, 2008

  • Large Bus Driver: 22 checkin' in.
  • Radio: Aight 22. Y'all might want to watch out for that traffic on Magnolia today. It's hard to get through.
  • Large Bus Driver: That's what she said.
  • (Passengers and Radio are silent)
  • Radio: (after some time) Copy that.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


and someone just wanted an excuse to make that euphemism

123 [+ / -]     Oct 01, 2008

  • Barberitos worker: (smearing sour cream on a taco) Let me smooth it out for you.
  • Flirtacious woman: You just wanted an excuse to put your finger in my taco.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


i'm sure someone could find you a pencil sharpener

4 [+ / -]     Sep 22, 2008

  • (Outside Starbucks, trying to register voters)
  • Registration guy: The next time somebody walks past us, I'm going to stick a pencil up their ass.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


that's really a size 6 in men's

91 [+ / -]     Sep 18, 2008

  • Girl: How long is a foot long?
  • Employee: Seriously?
  • Girl: Whatever. Size 7 and a half, please.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


welcome to athens, home of the disgruntled food-service employee

101 [+ / -]     Sep 14, 2008

  • Girl: Hey I know you... you clean dishes, right?
  • Dishwasher: Yeah.
  • Girl: (very impressed with herself) Ha! I knew it. You were cleaning dishes when I was here last night.
  • Dishwasher: Yeah... It's called a job. You should try it sometime.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


it doesn't count just because your jeep is green

-11 [+ / -]     Sep 14, 2008

  • Hipster: One pack of American Spirits, please.
  • Clerk: I've only sold a few packs of these... what's the deal?
  • Hipster: Well, they're made from all natural ingredients. Plus, I'm trying to "Go Green."
  • Clerk: Oh, okay.
  • (Hipster drives off in large Jeep)

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


there's nothing better than a bus with it's own full bar

103 [+ / -]     Sep 12, 2008

  • Passenger: Want a beer?
  • Driver: No thanks.
  • Passenger: Shot of something?
  • Driver: I am driving a 40,000 pound bus, no thanks.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


"...and while i'm here, can i check my oasis on your computer?"

104 [+ / -]     Sep 06, 2008

  • Drunk guy: (after getting several staples in his head from jumping into a door
    frame) How much is the bill?
  • Doctor: It' gonna be about $75.
  • Drunk guy: Do ya'll take Bulldog Bucks?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


so we have these things called concerts...

-2 [+ / -]     Aug 30, 2008

  • Sound guy 1: Why does it seem so loud in here?
  • Sound guy 2: Because it is loud in here.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


as well as what he didn't do

25 [+ / -]     Aug 12, 2008

  • Box Office Guy: (to manager) That guy in the wheelchair just went in the bathroom that only has urinals. For the rest of my life I will wonder what he did in there.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


productive and cathartic... what more can you ask for?

129 [+ / -]     Aug 02, 2008

  • Tired Employee: God dammit! I just wanna beat the fuckin' shit outta something!
  • Boss: I've got an idea. Why don't you take a broom and use it to beat the fuck out of this floor?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


i think the headphones are a little too tight

-4 [+ / -]     Jul 29, 2008

  • Large Bearded Man: If I stay in here too much longer, I'm not going to have enough money to strangle any more horses.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


giving new meaning to the word whopper

110 [+ / -]     Jul 28, 2008

  • The BK sign at 5:30 in the morning... it was changed later in the afternoon.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


no, but i figured it was worth a shot

91 [+ / -]     Jul 09, 2008

  • Guy: Can I get my paycheck, please?
  • Woman: Do you work here?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


don't forget to get a protective case

5 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2008

  • Customer: Do you know where a Mac store is?
  • Sales Associate: Yeah, I think there is one at Northpoint Mall. Why? Are you thinking about buying a computer?
  • Customer: No... I need to buy some lip gloss.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece