Quotes Filed Under "At work"


as well as what he didn't do

8 [+ / -]     Aug 12, 2008

  • Box Office Guy: (to manager) That guy in the wheelchair just went in the bathroom that only has urinals. For the rest of my life I will wonder what he did in there.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


productive and cathartic... what more can you ask for?

109 [+ / -]     Aug 02, 2008

  • Tired Employee: God dammit! I just wanna beat the fuckin' shit outta something!
  • Boss: I've got an idea. Why don't you take a broom and use it to beat the fuck out of this floor?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


i think the headphones are a little too tight

-4 [+ / -]     Jul 29, 2008

  • Large Bearded Man: If I stay in here too much longer, I'm not going to have enough money to strangle any more horses.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


giving new meaning to the word whopper

66 [+ / -]     Jul 28, 2008

  • The BK sign at 5:30 in the morning... it was changed later in the afternoon.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


no, but i figured it was worth a shot

86 [+ / -]     Jul 09, 2008

  • Guy: Can I get my paycheck, please?
  • Woman: Do you work here?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


don't forget to get a protective case

1 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2008

  • Customer: Do you know where a Mac store is?
  • Sales Associate: Yeah, I think there is one at Northpoint Mall. Why? Are you thinking about buying a computer?
  • Customer: No... I need to buy some lip gloss.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


time in a bottle

72 [+ / -]     Jun 12, 2008

  • Drunk Girl: Yay, I got a cherry!
  • Drunk Guy: Bring back memories?
  • Drunk Girl: Not really that was a long time ago.
  • Bartender: Well at least she's honest.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


it's always good to diversify your client base

33 [+ / -]     May 23, 2008

  • Cashier: (on phone) Why yes, we do have pink chiffon for homosexuals!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


a message everyone should hear, brother

49 [+ / -]     May 20, 2008

  • Co-worker: Why do I smoke cigarettes? I have to be a role model to the kids to let them know that they too can be a 24-year-old waiter in a struggling rock band.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


$5 footlong, anyone?

-39 [+ / -]     May 15, 2008

  • Employee 1: My hair got stuck in my tongue ring last night. It hurt.
  • Employee 2: What the hell were you doing last night that got your hair in your mouth?
  • Employee 2: Not just last night, I was doing it 'till 5:30 AM!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


nurse strangled with stethoscope, story at 11:00

92 [+ / -]     May 14, 2008

  • Nurse: Doctor, I found a pair of panties in the hallway, and I think they might be yours.
  • Doctor: Haha, that's a good one.
  • Nurse: No, really. You know why I think they're yours?
  • Doctor: Okay, why?
  • Nurse: Because they were in a wad.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


"...i'll also need some lysol and a copy of playboy"

47 [+ / -]     May 05, 2008

  • (Cashier is ringing up a couple)
  • Girl: All I'm saying is that when you use the toilet at my place, don't leave stuff on the seat. I don't want a baby!
  • (Awkward pause while the cashier, guy, and girl exchange looks)
  • Cashier: Well, will this be all for today?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


good thing we just bought lolstraws.com

21 [+ / -]     May 04, 2008

  • I guess the Choochoo employees just needed something to get excited over.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


but considerably less good than it would without them

48 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • (Three girls set three boxes of condoms on the counter. The cashier laughs)
  • Girl: We're not really weird! It's for a prank!
  • Cashier: That's one prank that'll feel real good.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


ask dwight

31 [+ / -]     Apr 26, 2008

  • Boss: Okay, so we have decided to take you all out for lunch for Administrative Professionals Day!
  • Administrative Professional: Oh great! Where are we going?
  • Boss: Well, you have to find someone to cover the office first.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


"...it's not my fault, i can't see anything without my glasses"

77 [+ / -]     Apr 25, 2008