Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

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Quotes Filed Under "Bum"


"fun" must mean something different in buckhead

7 [+ / -]     Mar 23, 2010

  • Bum: Alright, I'm not gonna lie to you. It's Friday night and I want to have some fun, just like y'all. Can I please have some change?
  • (Buckhead Boy 1 gives Bum some money)
  • Buckhead Boy 2: Why would you give him money?
  • Buckhead Boy 1: I honestly thought he was gonna rape me if I didn't give it up.
  • Buckhead Boy 2: Wow, do you listen to yourself when you speak?

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for everything else, there's mastercard

25 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2010

  • Homeless Guy: Do you have any spare change?
  • Guy: Sorry, I don't have any cash.
  • Homeless Guy: Do you have a credit card?
  • (Guy stares blankly. Homeless Guy laughs and walks away)

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after all, everyone else is getting a bailout

167 [+ / -]     May 28, 2009

  • Homeless Man: Can I have some change? I just really need some change, man, please, can I have some change?
  • Girl: Obama's got your change!

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we wonder which one he is going to inhale

55 [+ / -]     Mar 23, 2009

  • Bum: (holding two balloons) Hey man. Hey! What's the difference between helium and nitrogen?
  • Drunk Guy 1: The atomic mass. Helium is 1, Nitrogen is 7.
  • Drunk Guy 2: One makes your voice high. One fuuuuuucks you up!
  • (Bum runs away)

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let's hope god's grammar is better than his sense

-4 [+ / -]     Mar 21, 2009

  • Crazy homeless lady: You shole do got good sense... gooder sense than God got.

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the effects of the economy are worse than we thought

76 [+ / -]     Oct 14, 2008

  • Homeless guy: Yo man, gimme some money, I want me some coffee.
  • Student: Okay wait, lemme guess. You're on your way to work?

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a walk to remember

117 [+ / -]     Oct 07, 2008

  • (Homeless Guy walks up elbow-to-elbow with Student)
  • Homeless Guy: Yo, I'm walkin' with y'all, man.
  • Student: What? Who are you? What the fuck?
  • Homeless Guy: Shhhhhh. I'm walkin' witchu.

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he's working on his dissertation as we speak

41 [+ / -]     Sep 10, 2008

  • Homeless Guy: Excuse me, can you spare some change for some psychedelic research?

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leave mom out of it

158 [+ / -]     Jul 01, 2008

  • (A young guy is walking down the street holding hands with a much older, not so attractive lady)
  • Bum: Boy, you're had too much to drink!

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i'll take that as a maybe

-29 [+ / -]     May 07, 2008

  • Guy: Hey, have you seen Rack 'em Willy come through here?
  • Sorostitute: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes.
  • (pause)
  • Guy: Thanks.

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we're guessing that wouldn't take long

-13 [+ / -]     Apr 30, 2008

  • Drunk guy: Hey, you look like the lead singer of Led Zeppelin!
  • Homeless woman: You don't wanna fuck with me tonight.
  • Drunk guy: I'll knock the rest of your teeth out, bitch!

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mom, can i keep him?

77 [+ / -]     Apr 18, 2008

  • Homeless guy: I'm potty trained, take me home.

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despite the math error, a charming effort

208 [+ / -]     Apr 05, 2008

  • Homeless Guy: Look at these fine looking ladies, do you know how much I'd pay for you? $500 for you, $500 for you, $500 for you, and $500 for you. That's $3000 worth of beautiful ladies! I have a daughter that's 18, y'all are all over 18 right? You need a man! I tell my daughter not to ever bring home a boy like this one over here. You need a fine older man to pay your way through college.
  • (He opens up his wallet to show them four dollars)
  • Homeless Guy: I can be that man.

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it's so hard to get bum juice out of the grill

-67 [+ / -]     Apr 01, 2008

  • (Fratty almost hits bum on a bike downtown when turning, then rolls down his window)
  • Fratty: Watch where your going! You could have put a dent in my car you bastard.

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sounds like he's under pressure

145 [+ / -]     Mar 19, 2008

  • Bum: (outside MARTA station) Spare change? Spare change?
  • (He breaks into a perfect David Bowie imitation)
  • Bum: Ch-ch-ch-changes! Turn and face the train! Changes!

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better get used to it, kids

179 [+ / -]     Mar 14, 2008

  • Bum: (sitting on ground outside MARTA station) Spare change?
  • (Mom tries to hurry her two kids past him)
  • Little Boy: Wow, a homeless person! We learned about these in social studies!
  • Little Girl: I never thought I'd actually get to see one in real life!

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turns out beggars CAN be choosers

74 [+ / -]     Feb 28, 2008

  • Beggar Lady: Does anyone have any change so I can eat?
  • (Guy starts putting nickels and pennies down on the seat for her)
  • Beggar Lady: No, no, I don't take pennies.

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she as well be saving up barcodes from cereal boxes

36 [+ / -]     Feb 21, 2008

  • (Poor Lady is walking up and down the train asking for change to buy food)
  • Poor Lady: Can you spare 25 cents, sir?
  • Fratty: Sorry, I dont have any change.
  • Poor Lady: Is that one of 'em iPods?
  • Fratty: Yes, ma'am.
  • Poor Lady: How much one of 'em cost?
  • Fratty: 'Bout $200.
  • Poor Lady: Ooh, child... I've got to save my money to buy one of 'em things.

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or to take you for a ride on his spaceship

102 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2008

  • Guy on cell: Yeah, if you see him tell him to call his mom because a bum found his cell phone in a parking lot. Yeah he's probably going to want money or beer.

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meet the stranger inside all of us

178 [+ / -]     Nov 26, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: Where should we go tonight?
  • Sorostitute 2: Oh look, JRs. Let's drink long islands all night and wake up naked next to strangers... it'll be just like freshman year.
  • Homeless guy: I can be that stranger!

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honesty is hard to come by these days

41 [+ / -]     Jun 12, 2007

  • Shirtless bum: Spare some change for beer?

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man, i hate that guy

-2 [+ / -]     Feb 27, 2007

  • Bum: Excuse me, excuse me miss...
  • Girl: I have to go to work, sir.
  • Bum: Miss, ain't you a Christian, miss?
  • Girl: No!

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red 87! red 87! go long!

41 [+ / -]     Feb 26, 2007

  • Guy on street at 4-way stop: Yo man, just throw me a quarter.
  • Guy: Was that a drive-by panhandling?

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