Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link
 

Quotes Filed Under "Dorm life"


she really has taken over the world

18 [+ / -]     Jun 03, 2009

  • Oprah's face superimposed on Soulja Boy's body in Russell Hall.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


better safe than stupid

111 [+ / -]     May 05, 2009

  • Sorostitute: I went the hospital last night.
  • Friend: Oh my God, why!?
  • Sorostitute: Well, at like 3:00 AM I ate a bunch of food and looked up diabetes on the Internet and I thought I had it, so I called an ambulance. But they said I'm good.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece


performing in a circus tent or holding it up, but we're not sure which

-47 [+ / -]     Feb 09, 2009

  • Guy 1: Dude, I just took four Viagra. What's that gonna do to me?
  • (Guy 2 simply looks and shrugs)

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece


her MRS degree is a double major

95 [+ / -]     Feb 04, 2009

  • Sorostitute 1: Oh, what, so you believe in more than one god?
  • Sorostitute 2: Yeah, I'm a polygamist!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


he's the worst stalker ever

-56 [+ / -]     Dec 21, 2008

  • Drunk Freshman Girl 1: Like, ohmigod, I should be falling over right, now!
  • Drunk Freshman Girl 2: No, girl, you're fine.
  • Drunk Freshman Girl 1: And, ohmigod! Like, why was Joseph kissing all over me?
  • Drunk Freshman Girl 2: Because he doesn't know that you have a boyfriend!
  • Drunk Freshman Girl 1: Ohmigod, does he not check Facebook? Like, what the eff?
  • Drunk Freshman Girl 2: I guess not, girl.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


yeah, with that girl over there

35 [+ / -]     Dec 15, 2008

  • Girl: (to friend) So I'm just gonna like take some Adderall, study like fucking hell, and stay up all night until I pass out.
  • Father: (eavesdropping, to daughter) So, um, do you have any studying to do?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


queue the porn music

33 [+ / -]     Dec 03, 2008

  • (Two girls in different shower stalls talking)
  • Girl 1: Are you still in the shower?
  • Girl 2: Yeah.
  • Girl 1: What are you doing in there?
  • Girl 2: Just standing.
  • Girl 1: Me too!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece


don't get snippy with me, mon

172 [+ / -]     Nov 21, 2008

  • Girl: So, are you going home to Jamaica over Christmas break?
  • Jamaican Guy: No, my father and I are going to get naturalized next month!
  • Girl: (cringing, looking at Jamaican Guy's crotch) Won't that... hurt?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


because i was wondering if you could give me his number

80 [+ / -]     Nov 18, 2008

  • Sorostitute: (to roommate) So, you still dating that guy I hooked up with?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


everyone surrenders to passion

-57 [+ / -]     Nov 14, 2008

  • Guy 1: Never ever ever have I masturbated.
  • Guy 2: Dude, you're lying.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


with a side of tiger and bear. oh my.

64 [+ / -]     Nov 12, 2008

  • Black guy: A friend of mine is making some African food tonight, and I'm really looking forward to having the leftovers.
  • White guy: Really? Like lion?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


this moment brought to you by tara reid

28 [+ / -]     Nov 09, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: Aw, sweetie your boob is showing.
  • Sorostitute 2: Nuh-uh!
  • (Sorostitute 2 looks down at exposed breast)
  • Sorostitute 2: Ha, no way!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece


only 15 in a school zone

-30 [+ / -]     Nov 08, 2008

  • Girl: Hold on! Let me go get my goggles. I heard that cum comes out at 20 miles per hour.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


that's what you get for mouthing off

35 [+ / -]     Oct 26, 2008

  • Girl: You shouldn't have even gone to the bar that night.
  • Guy: Why not?
  • Girl: Because you told him he could give you a blowjob.
  • Guy: I did not! I just said, "a mouth's a mouth."

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


getting locked out of your dorm isn't all bad

99 [+ / -]     Oct 14, 2008

  • (In Creswell hallway)
  • Sorostitute: Wow! Cute dress! Where are you going?
  • Girl: Um, this is a towel wrap.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece


sticking her in that home had nothing to do with it

8 [+ / -]     Sep 26, 2008

  • Girl 1: Aw, my grandma sent me a letter, that's so sweet!
  • Girl 2: You mom's mom, or your dad's mom?
  • Girl 1: Oh, totally my mom's mom. My dad's mom is a raging bitch.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece


what a short trip! these buses rock!

124 [+ / -]     Aug 21, 2008

  • Freshman: Does this go to Russell Hall?
  • Bus Driver: Yup, and you're here! (closes doors)

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece


the other half of him is in the next dryer

20 [+ / -]     Jul 10, 2008

  • My friend in the a dryer at Russell... just to see if he could.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece


those newfangled mind reading elevators are much cooler

77 [+ / -]     Jun 10, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: (after a couple of seconds without the elevator moving) I think you need to press a button.
  • Sorostitute 2: Oh! You're suppose to press a button? I think this happened in the last elevator.
  • Sorostitute 3: Oh yeah, I was wondering why we didn't move.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece


not the sort of thing most people would admit to

2 [+ / -]     May 17, 2008

  • Stoner 1: Hey, I wanna drag. Can I have a drag?
  • Stoner 2: Fine, just wrap your lips lightly around it when you suck.
  • Stoner 3: That's what he said.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece


damn it feels good to be a gangster

39 [+ / -]     May 13, 2008

  • This is what happens to printers that stop working when I have to print an important paper.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (16) | Speak Your Piece


proof that our ancestors flung poo

25 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Wondering what to do with that loft now that you're moving out of the dorm? How about a trebuchet?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


and where the hell did i put that map?

33 [+ / -]     May 09, 2008

  • (Drunk Girl is walking around Russell Hall, talking on cell phone)
  • Drunk Girl on cell: I'm dying! I'm dying!
  • (pause)
  • Drunk Girl on cell: No, I'm walking into Molly O' Sheas right now. Okay, now I'm walking to Sandbar. Yes, see you in a minute.
  • (She walks towards Russell)
  • Drunk Girl on cell:I think, wait, now I'm at sandbar. Help!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


half way done

56 [+ / -]     May 07, 2008

  • Guy 1: I can't believe our 4th year of college is over!
  • Guy 2: (they high five) No kidding, I can't wait to start our 5th!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


and this year's miss congeniality is...

73 [+ / -]     Apr 30, 2008

  • Girl 1: (to Girl 2) Please don't cry. You are already ugly when you aren't crying.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


when done right no can defend

-24 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • Drunken karate chop / kick!!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


"...you're sure we're going to a costume party, right guys?"

35 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • Proof that an honors magnet dorm is intended to keep them from the general public.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


i'm so glad we decided to go to peer counseling!

109 [+ / -]     Apr 22, 2008

  • Girl 1: Why do guys only ever want to be my friend?
  • Girl 2: Well, guys only ever want to hook up with me and then never have anything more.
  • Girl 3: You should put out more, you should put out less. Problem solved.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


although it might not be the primary cause

109 [+ / -]     Apr 10, 2008

  • Guy: (laying on Girl's lap) I know we aren't ready to have sex yet, but it's just so hard!
  • (Both giggle)
  • Guy: Thanks for reminding me why we aren't mature enough to take this step.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece


if by cooler you mean "like you have a speech impediment"

-76 [+ / -]     Apr 07, 2008

  • Freshman Girl 1: So, do you guys want to go kick it at Bourb tonight?
  • Freshman Girl 2: Bourb? As is Bourbon Street?
  • Freshman Girl 1: Yeah. It sounds cooler when you call it Bourb.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


it must be hard studying geography when you're from another planet

76 [+ / -]     Apr 07, 2008

  • (While studying for test)
  • Girl 1: I only have 46 states. I really can't think of the rest.
  • Girl 2: I have like 52.
  • Girl 1: You can't have 52 states.
  • Girl 2: Isn't Detroit a state? You know, like in the states song (sings) "Delaware, Detroit."
  • Girl 1: Um, no, I don't think so, but isn't Seattle?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


and jill came tumbling after

83 [+ / -]     Apr 01, 2008

  • Girl 1: Why does water run downhill?
  • Girl 2: Gravity.
  • Girl 1: Yeah, but there's gravity at the top of the hill too, isn't there?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece


must be why you never see sorority girls wearing helmets

182 [+ / -]     Mar 28, 2008

  • Girl 1: Man I wish I had boobs, this is pathetic.
  • Girl 2: Well, if you started wearing a bra it could help.
  • Girl 1: Would a child with no feet wear shoes? I don't think so.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


imagine the odds

-99 [+ / -]     Mar 27, 2008

  • Drunk Fratty 1: Where do you live?
  • Sorostitute: I live in Brumby.
  • Drunk Fratty 2: Hey! I know somebody that lives in Brumby!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


a new definition of peer review

-25 [+ / -]     Mar 26, 2008

  • Guy: From now on, let's study naked in your room.
  • Girl: Why?
  • Guy: I enjoy being naked.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


sure as hell beats the muzak

214 [+ / -]     Mar 25, 2008

  • (In a Creswell elevator)
  • Girl 1: I went on the most awkward date ever last night!
  • Girl 2: Why, what happened?
  • Girl 1: Walk with me to get a Coke and I'll tell you... these people don't want to hear about my awkward date.
  • Guy: Actually, I kinda do.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


we're sure he's the first to think of this one

-26 [+ / -]     Feb 29, 2008

  • Fratty 1: Did you really just have a class in Brumby?
  • Fratty 2: Yeah.
  • Fratty 1: What was it? Women's Studies?
  • Fratty 2: No, anatomy.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


"...if only i could get out of this elevator with the doors still closed"

117 [+ / -]     Feb 25, 2008

  • (On an elevator with three other people)
  • Dude 1: So, you remember that girl Julie from the other night?
  • Dude 2: Yeah.
  • Dude 1: We were in my room and she started pulling down my zipper, and then it got stuck.
  • Dude 2: (whispers) Dude, can you wait five minutes?
  • Dude 1: Talk about the biggest cock block ever. I had to squeeze out of my pants with the zipper still up.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


that's about as funny as a razor to the nads

-9 [+ / -]     Feb 22, 2008

  • Dude 1: So man, I went to Target today and got the new Mach razor.
  • Dude 2: Cool.
  • Dude 1: Ya know, the Mach 3. I tried it out on my balls... really smooth.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


divorce is just one small step for man

72 [+ / -]     Feb 12, 2008

  • Girl 1: Oh, did you know that Condoleezza Rice is an Alphi Chi Omega?
  • Girl 2: Yeah, they told us during rush. So was Neil Armstrong's wife.
  • Girl 3: Didn't he and Sheryl Crow get a divorce?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


"...some guy named wikipedia"

93 [+ / -]     Dec 02, 2007

  • Girl 1: What are you working on?
  • Girl 2: A bibliography.
  • Girl 1: Oh, really? On who?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


good luck facebooking that one

169 [+ / -]     Nov 19, 2007

  • Fratty: Where were you? We lost you last night.
  • Sorostitute: Yeah, sorry, I ended up shacking with this guy named Reed.
  • Fratty: Well where were you?
  • Sorostitute: I don't know, all I know is that his name is Reed Hall.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


how many points do you get for a boyfriend?

-16 [+ / -]     Oct 19, 2007

  • Sober girl: Oh my God, you almost killed your boyfriend!
  • Tipsy girl: Hey! It was my car that hit him!
  • Sober girl: But you were driving it!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


better try the pony express

95 [+ / -]     Oct 18, 2007

  • Guy 1: Hey! Dan left his phone in my room!
  • Guy 2: Should we call him and tell him?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


remember molly, drugs are bad

127 [+ / -]     Oct 09, 2007

  • Girl 1: Oh my god, are there two of you?!
  • Girl 2: Huh?
  • Girl 1: Do you have a twin?
  • Girl 2: What are you talking about?
  • Girl 1: I just saw a girl that looked just like you, but she was wearing something different.
  • Girl 2: Molly, I changed clothes!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


fire the math tutor

34 [+ / -]     Oct 03, 2007

  • Guy: Wow, that was a great 86 yard run.
  • Girl: 86 yards, how many miles is that?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


why not just go in reverse to get them off?

118 [+ / -]     Sep 30, 2007

  • Blonde girl 1: I've got to stop speeding... I can't afford another ticket.
  • Blonde girl 2: I never speed.
  • Blonde girl 1: Why not?
  • Blonde girl 2: Because it puts too many miles on my car.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


sit down, this could take a while

75 [+ / -]     Aug 09, 2007

  • Girl 1: Jeter's the shortstop. Wait, do you know what a shortstop is?
  • Girl 2: What's a Jeter? And a shortstop's just shorter than a longstop, right?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


one means significantly less dates

-45 [+ / -]     Jun 14, 2007

  • (Two guys throwing a baseball)
  • Guy 1: I was thinking man, maybe we should switch to a softball.
  • Guy 2: What's the difference?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


its cured by pregnancy... hop to it.

73 [+ / -]     Jun 01, 2007

  • Girl on cell: Ohmigod, you have Chlamydia?! Wait, that is one you can cure with medicine right? Oh, then no big deal.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


seriously, in the pejorative.

-17 [+ / -]     May 31, 2007

  • Guy: (running towards bathroom) My ass is about to explode!
  • Passerby: Gay!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


gentlemen, the ladies of mary lyndon need you

-11 [+ / -]     May 10, 2007

  • Girl 1: We've started a club in Mary Lyndon... the never-been-kissed, never-had-a-boyfriend club. Apparently, there's a high percentage of those kinds of girls in Mary Lyndon.
  • Girl 2: Ohmigod, is that a Facebook group?
  • Girl 1: No! We have more dignity than that!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


when they couldn't find it, they followed the path of the underground railroad

88 [+ / -]     Apr 30, 2007

  • Sorostitute: Is that the North Star?
  • Fratty: Yeah, I think so.
  • Sorostitute: Oh my god, how did the slaves follow that to freedom?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


jesus was an alchy too!

-28 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: You're going downtown? You just got back from church!
  • Sorostitute 2: God appreciates 50 cent drinks at Brogans!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


yes, inhabited primarily by playboy playmates

-93 [+ / -]     Apr 23, 2007

  • (Two sorostitutes walking up stairs in Creswell)
  • Sorostitute 1: Whats the penthouse?
  • Sorostitute 2: What?
  • Sorostitute 1: The sign says basement to penthouse...
  • Sorostitute 2: Oh, thats like the top I think
  • Sorostitute 1: Is there anything even up there?
  • Sorostitute 2: Well yeah, the top.
  • Sorostitute 1: Well duh! I know what the word is! But are there rooms?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


she was a polished rock in a past life

41 [+ / -]     Apr 22, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: I feel really clean today!
  • Sorostitute 2: Why?
  • Sorostitute 1: I was completely wasted when I got in last night, but I just had to take a shower! I fell asleep, and when I woke up this morning, the water was still running!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


there's no place like home, there's no place like home

88 [+ / -]     Apr 20, 2007

  • Guy 1: Dude, why are you wearing pink princess slippers??
  • Guy 2: My feet were cold.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


in addition, he clearly has some self esteem issues

89 [+ / -]     Apr 15, 2007

  • Guy: I'm broke and I can't afford my cable bill.
  • Girl: Well, you could always sell your body door to door at the dorms. That would totally get you the money on time.
  • Guy: No, what that would get me is a few lawsuits and a bunch of loose change.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


i bet she keeps her salt and sugar in the same jar, too

13 [+ / -]     Mar 10, 2007

  • Guy: I usually just have two loads of laundry, one of whites, one of colors.
  • Girl: Well aren't you something, I wash my whites and colors together, because I'm not racist. I don't see whites and colors, I just see clothes.
  • Guy: Well, whites and colors just happens to be a convenient division.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


if i'd a known it was gonna be that kinda party, i'd stuck my ballot it in the mashed potatoes

83 [+ / -]     Mar 08, 2007

  • Student 1: So SGA is discussing banning parties tonight, do you want to go?
  • Student 2: How can they ban parties? If I want to throw a big...
  • Student 1: Not that kind of party.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


#3   something tells me this wasn't in the dr. spock parenting book

1162 [+ / -]     Mar 01, 2007

  • Girl on cell: I don't see sleeping with her boyfriend as a bad thing. He said he didn't even like her anyways, so whatever, let people call me a slut. Ok mom, I love you too.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


evac! evac!

20 [+ / -]     Mar 01, 2007

  • (Right after a girl throwing up has left the dorm room)