Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link
 

Quotes Filed Under "Downtown"


translation: "i can't read"

3 [+ / -]     Aug 18, 2010

  • Redneck 1: Well, you know I went to college, but I couldn't write the papers.
  • Redneck 2: Well, thats okay.
  • Redneck 1: I know, I'm good at that oratory shit... see that's what I learned earlier, I'm good at that oratory shit.

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when you gotta go, you gotta go to sleep

13 [+ / -]     Jul 16, 2010

  • Someone fell asleep on the toilet at crowded Sandbar on a Thursday night.

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that's how you know they aren't fans of the movies

2 [+ / -]     Apr 25, 2010

  • The sign in the window of The Clubhouse. Twilight is misspelled.

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i doubt anyone will get their photo taken sitting on top of him

9 [+ / -]     Apr 20, 2010

  • I took this photo because this dude was standing where the bulldog statue normally sits, but after I took it I realized he was flicking off the Mormons standing at the Arch across the street.

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at least if you drown you know you aren't a witch

6 [+ / -]     Apr 14, 2010

  • Irish Guy 1: I don't think a fella should be swimmin' after e's eaten. Least not for an hour.
  • Irish Guy 2: No! Es a myth!
  • Irish Guy 1: Twenty minutes then.
  • Irish Guy 2: (to bartender) Whaddayou think?
  • Bartender: Uh, I know you could get a cramp, but it isn't that likely. I'd say it's safe. Maybe it depends how much you eat.
  • Irish Guy 2: Or what you eat.
  • Irish Guy 1: Yeah, I suppose if you eat boulders your shit out of luck.

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when you're really drunk it starts to animate

0 [+ / -]     Apr 13, 2010

  • My favorite graffiti in Athens. Found in the men's room at the downtown Transmet's bar, which is the location of most of the silliest graffiti.

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double the pleasure, double the fun

31 [+ / -]     Apr 12, 2010

  • Guy 1: (ogling two blonde girls wearing the same dress) What are they, twins?
  • Guy 2: No, better... freshmen.

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where's the slot for this thing again?

9 [+ / -]     Apr 09, 2010

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does that mean the chicken is from concentrate?

-1 [+ / -]     Mar 31, 2010

  • Guy: So you're a vegetarian now?
  • Girl: Yeah. Except for once a month when I eat some chicken. It's so I can get enough protein.
  • Guy: Why don't you just eat nuts or take protein supplements or something?
  • Girl: Pfft. All that is, is meat packed in to tiny little pills.

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you're holding the map upside down again

27 [+ / -]     Mar 23, 2010

  • Homeless Guy: What up, y'all. My name's Netty. I'm from the east coast.
  • Fratty: That's awesome, dude. Nice to meet you.
  • Sorostitute: Oh my gawd! The east coast! So like, from California?

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kings, queens, what's the difference

-22 [+ / -]     Mar 10, 2010

  • Drunk girl: Is this a gay bar?
  • Drunker girl: I don't know where I am right now.
  • Drunk girl: I mean, I don't give a shit. Remember my old neighbor? She was gay. Oh wait! Yeah. Remember how this was that other gay bar? And now it's New Earth? Yeah, this is a gay bar.

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what an asshole

96 [+ / -]     Jan 26, 2010

  • Girl: Please?
  • Guy: No.
  • Girl: Please?
  • Guy: No.
  • Girl: What if...
  • Guy: No, dammit, no!
  • Girl: You are the worst boyfriend ever. You watch chick flicks and take me out to dinner, but the minute I want to try anal...
  • Guy: For God's sake, shut up!

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and if i do get in, i'm also gonna puke

-11 [+ / -]     Jan 11, 2010

  • Drunk Guy: Dude, if I don't get inside this bar, I am going to puke.

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nah, i'll just look for someone who goes to class less

44 [+ / -]     Jan 07, 2010

  • Drunk Asian Guy: What's up ladies... what you got going on tonight?
  • Drunk Sorostitute: Oh My God! You're totally my TA!
  • Drunk Asian Guy: Damn it!
  • Drunk White Guy: Maybe you should stop teaching.

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cleanup on aisle clayton

56 [+ / -]     Dec 27, 2009

  • Someone had a little too much fun.

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not as difficult an achievement as he seems to think

13 [+ / -]     Dec 12, 2009

  • (On a crowded East West night bus)
  • Drunk Freshman Guy 1: Dude. I better get arrested tonight.
  • Drunk Freshman Guy 2: I know, right? You better.
  • (They exit the bus and walk towards Bourbon Street)

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does it matter?

-1 [+ / -]     Nov 13, 2009

  • Male Professor: So, who stayed in town this weekend? Did anyone go downtown?
  • Student: I was downtown!
  • Male Professor: Sweet.
  • Student: Were you downtown wearing a dress?
  • Male Professor: What color?

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they'll screw you more, too

149 [+ / -]     Aug 12, 2009

  • Drunk Guy: Fucking Charter calls me more than my girlfriend.

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maybe the drunk brad is the real brad

67 [+ / -]     Aug 03, 2009

  • Girl: Brad, I just want you to know that I really care about you. It just worries me when you drink like this. It's like you change into another person when you're drunk and I know that's not the real you. I love you. I just want to see you make the right decisions.
  • (silence)
  • Girl: Are you even listening?
  • (Brad starts snoring)

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and that buddha bar is a temple

17 [+ / -]     Jul 27, 2009

  • Girl 1: (to Bartender) We need 8 shots of tequila... it's her birthday!
  • (Girl 2 walks up to the bar)
  • Girl 1: (to Girl 2) I just ordered 8 shots of tequila!
  • (Girl 2 looks horrified)
  • Girl 1: No, it's okay, my mom thinks El Centro is a restaurant!

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along with the raised fines, acc is now hiring telepathic meter maids

27 [+ / -]     Jul 27, 2009

  • This was in a parking lot downtown...

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we all feel it too

84 [+ / -]     Jul 06, 2009

  • Despite the tragedy that the Georgia Theatre has been through, the owners still display a sense of humor about the situation. RIP Georgia Theatre.

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good thing they installed a revolving door at the jail

24 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2009

  • (Walking away from Buddha Bar to a car)
  • Drunk guy: Man, tonight was great!
  • Sober guy: You better watch out, they are running a road block down the road.
  • Drunk guy: Man, I can't go to jail, my PO would be pissed as hell at me!

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that's how you know you're in georgia

-47 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2009

  • (A girl is giving another girl a piggyback ride)
  • Guy: Ew, look at those lesbians.
  • Girl: Yeah, and we're sisters, too.
  • Guy: Kinky.

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after all, everyone else is getting a bailout

167 [+ / -]     May 28, 2009

  • Homeless Man: Can I have some change? I just really need some change, man, please, can I have some change?
  • Girl: Obama's got your change!

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they're easier to catch that way

63 [+ / -]     May 06, 2009

  • (Two guys watch an attractive woman with a limp walk by)
  • Guy 1: Aw, she has a limp.
  • Guy 2: I like that in a girl.

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does hope wear a funny hat?

-32 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2009

  • (Girl and Guy are ordering food and discussing HOPE scholarship enrollment requirements)
  • Guy: You can get partial HOPE with six hours.
  • Cashier: Dude, I must be really fried from the long day, because I thought you guys were talking about how you were going to meet the Pope in six hours, and I was all like, "The Pope? That's cool, man."

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that's what you get for partying at officemax

17 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • guy passed out on the couch at transmet after the bama game.

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but apparently not the best answer

136 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • (Girl in a five-person car with six people is being pulled over)
  • Cop: May I see your license, please?
  • (Girl hands over her license)
  • Cop: This isn't your fake, is it?
  • Girl: (frightened, pulling back license) Oh, no, this is mine.
  • Cop: Do you have your fake with you?
  • Girl: Um, I don't have a fake.
  • Cop: Good answer. Can you step out of the car, please?

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patterson wrote on your wall

43 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2009

  • Just in case its unclear:
  • Russ:
    Fuck you
    -Patterson
  • Patterson:
    Try to suck less dick
    -Everyone

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"stay in school" apparently doesn't count

-71 [+ / -]     Jan 17, 2009

  • Girl 1: So, the bartender at the club was really rude to me! He called me out at the end of the night for not tipping him! I couldn't believe it!
  • Girl 2: Well, how many beers did you have?
  • Girl 1: Five.

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there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

-50 [+ / -]     Jan 08, 2009

  • Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! What are you doing in Athens?!
  • (Pause)
  • Sober Guy: I live here.
  • Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! Me too!

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sure, if you're a nazi

-78 [+ / -]     Dec 08, 2008

  • Girl 1: Let's go see a movie!
  • Girl 2: I really want to see The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.
  • Girl 1: Oh okay! Is it a comedy?

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but some are more obvious than others

102 [+ / -]     Dec 04, 2008

  • White girl: Everyone has their little weird body thing... hairy feet, webbed toes...
  • Black guy: ...being black.

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brains... brains... brains...

-61 [+ / -]     Nov 18, 2008

  • A creeper in the background

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alcohol significantly affects pattern recognition

151 [+ / -]     Nov 11, 2008

  • Drunk redneck: You fucking suck!
  • Bagpipes guy: Shut the hell up, fucker!
  • Drunk redneck: At least I'm not playing a fiddle!
  • Bagpipes guy: Neither am I, dumbass!

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this just in, optimism does not prevent cancer

17 [+ / -]     Oct 27, 2008

  • Girl 1. I love to smoke.
  • Girl 2. Yeah but, do you ever think about the health issues?
  • Girl 1. The only one I care about is wrinkles. That's the only really bad effect.

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that's the other kind of free ride

57 [+ / -]     Oct 24, 2008

  • Girl 1: Take WatchDawgs home!
  • Girl 2: Okay, who's he?
  • Girl 1: What!? It's a free safe ride service, and we're here, so ride.
  • Girl 2: Oh, no thanks. I'm trying to find a man.

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does anyone else feel a breeze?

60 [+ / -]     Oct 23, 2008

  • sitting outside of the ga theatre after the vandy game

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look but don't touch, but neither when you with your better half

48 [+ / -]     Oct 16, 2008

  • Black Girl: She's a hoe.
  • Asian Guy: How can you tell?
  • Black Girl: I can see her thong through her dress.
  • Asian Guy: Well to me, that says available.
  • Black Girl: Excuse me?
  • Asian Guy: (falters) You know... if I wasn't with you. I love you.
  • Black Girl: Shut the fuck up and get me a drink.

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the effects of the economy are worse than we thought

76 [+ / -]     Oct 14, 2008

  • Homeless guy: Yo man, gimme some money, I want me some coffee.
  • Student: Okay wait, lemme guess. You're on your way to work?

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tryouts for the new season of jackass are going well

46 [+ / -]     Oct 12, 2008

  • (While hurriedly walking down Broad Street on a Saturday night)
  • Drunk Fratty 1: You say this guy is the real deal, that he knows what he's doing, but how can we be sure?
  • Drunk Fratty 2: Dude, relax... he's been tasered like eighteen times.

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a walk to remember

117 [+ / -]     Oct 07, 2008

  • (Homeless Guy walks up elbow-to-elbow with Student)
  • Homeless Guy: Yo, I'm walkin' with y'all, man.
  • Student: What? Who are you? What the fuck?
  • Homeless Guy: Shhhhhh. I'm walkin' witchu.

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the cake is a lie

6 [+ / -]     Oct 05, 2008

  • Taken in the alley behind Flannigan's. It looks like someone may have been locked in the alley til Thursday and much like a prisoner etched the days in the wall this person just wrote the days on the door.

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you can't do shooters when you're asleep

-61 [+ / -]     Oct 04, 2008

  • (Georgia / Alabama game day morning)
  • Sorostitute 1: Come on, they'll have water at the tailgate!
  • Sorostitute 2: Fuck water, I need my latte!

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i'm sure someone could find you a pencil sharpener

6 [+ / -]     Sep 22, 2008

  • (Outside Starbucks, trying to register voters)
  • Registration guy: The next time somebody walks past us, I'm going to stick a pencil up their ass.

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"...screw it. wanna fuck or not?"

191 [+ / -]     Sep 21, 2008

  • Guy: This is a classy joint, what's a lady like you doing in here?
  • Girl: Uh...
  • Guy: Wait... wait... that's not how it goes, is it?

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she pays for med school the old-fashioned way

87 [+ / -]     Sep 20, 2008

  • Drunk Guy: You can't party like me.
  • Drunk Girl: Oh, yes I can.
  • Drunk Guy: Bet you 100 dollars you don't last 'til midnight.
  • Drunk Girl: Alright, 100 dollars. Easiest money I ever made. Besides that lap dance earlier.

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so in other words, just like a normal friday night

21 [+ / -]     Sep 17, 2008

  • Freshman Dude 1: Ok, so what exactly is hazing?
  • Freshman Dude 2: Well, basically it's when they strip you down naked in the middle of downtown.

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which, despite the misclassification, is mostly true

13 [+ / -]     Sep 13, 2008

  • Guy: (After passing two younger homeless guys) Dude, townies are so gross.

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after a certain point you should just let them go

152 [+ / -]     Sep 11, 2008

  • Hungover Sorostitute on cell: Hey, is this SandBar? Okay, did you find any panties in the women's bathroom last night?

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damn, i must have left it in my other overalls

147 [+ / -]     Sep 10, 2008

  • 6-year-old boy: Can I have something to drink?
  • Bartender: May I see some ID first?

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observe the humble wallflorius athenius in her natural environment

44 [+ / -]     Sep 09, 2008

  • Nothing like a crazy night on the town to get you pumped!

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good friends will never lie to you

167 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

  • Drunk Girl 1: Look, I drank so much downtown that my stomach is poking out in my dress!
  • Drunk Girl 2: Your stomach was poking out well before we went downtown.

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drinking too much had nothing to do with it

10 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

  • (Leaving downtown after the GA Southern game, a guy is getting arrested)
  • Drunk Girl: Oh, I feel sorry for him!
  • Drunk Guy: Fuck that, he's a Southern fan!
  • Drunk Girl: Ha ha, that's what you get when you play the Dawgs!

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attention freshmen... this is how not to order a beer

93 [+ / -]     Aug 18, 2008

  • (Drunk Freshman orders a PBR)
  • Bartender: That'll be $2.25.
  • Drunk Freshman: I put $4 in there (points to tip jar).
  • Bartender: Okay, but you have to pay me for the beer.
  • Drunk Freshman: But I put my money in that pitcher!
  • Bartender: Well, that's the tip jar. That's where you put tips. You pay me for the alcohol you purchase.
  • Drunk Freshman: I put four dollars in there. Can I just have the beer?
  • Bartender: I don't think you understand. That's not where you pay. You pay the bartenders for your drinks. Then, if you choose, you put a tip in the jar. I can't just give you a beer because you say that you put $4 in the tip jar.
  • Drunk Freshman: Can I just have the beer? I already gave money.
  • Bartender: I don't understand what you want from me.

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the new segway... complete with training wheel

25 [+ / -]     Jul 21, 2008

  • ACCPD's new and "cheaper" way too patrol downtown.

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careful what you wish for... they have night sticks

266 [+ / -]     Jul 14, 2008

  • (As Drunk Guy is getting arrested by the cops and put in cop car)
  • Cop: Any requests?
  • Drunk Guy: Yeah... 95.5 The Beat!

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we call that living vicariously

34 [+ / -]     Jul 04, 2008

  • Girl 1: (referring to Girl 2's sandwich) Here, let me get that for you.
  • Girl 2: No, you're always buying me stuff.
  • Girl 1: Nuh uh, what?
  • Girl 2: Like drinks downtown.
  • Girl 1: Oh, that's because you're the DD.

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if only this happened at the vortex

7 [+ / -]     Jul 04, 2008

  • Lifehouse Guy: Thank you guys for waiting months to see us. You even dealt with tornadoes!
  • Sorostitute: There were tornadoes in Atlanta? I thought tornadoes couldn't happen in cities because of all the tall buildings.

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the townie version of "one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer"

52 [+ / -]     Jun 30, 2008

  • Drunk guy placing an order: Yeah, can i get a chocolate shake, a PBR and a water?

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drowning in the sea of humans

-129 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2008

  • The AthFest 2008 crowd on Washington St.
    Reprinted with permission. Courtesy of OMGPARTY.COM

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and did you make sure she had her lunch money?

131 [+ / -]     Jun 24, 2008

  • (Watching Sorostitute dance on a bar)
  • Girl: I don't think that girl is wearing any underwear.
  • Guy 1: Are you sure? Maybe its just a thong.
  • Girl: Um... I don't think so.
  • Guy 2: Yeah, she's wearing underwear. I made sure before we left the house.

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has anyone seen my air pump?

-65 [+ / -]     Jun 23, 2008

  • The moon-walk things at AthFest 2008.
    Reprinted with permission. Courtesy of OMGPARTY.COM.

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it's important to get your weekly regimen of binge drinking

49 [+ / -]     Jun 23, 2008

  • Girl 1: I really want to go out tomorrow night.
  • Girl 2: Why?
  • Girl 1: Well, I feel like my weekend got cut short since I didn't get to go out last night. I know I still had two nights downtown, but I was sober Thursday and I don't remember Friday, so it's like I didn't go downtown at all.

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like shooting fish in a barrel

151 [+ / -]     Jun 18, 2008

  • Girl 1: No, but he's like wanting to get to know about personal stuff and wants to take me out to dinner and a movie. So obviously he's not just trying to hook up with me because all you have to do is meet me in a bar downtown around one thirty and buy me a drink to do that.
  • Girl 2: Shoot... if a guy wants to hook up with me, he doesn't have to buy me a drink, just meet me at the hot dog man after the bars close and buy me a hot dog. Then I'm all yours.

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the theory of relativity in action

-10 [+ / -]     Jun 13, 2008

  • Girl 1: I'm such an asshole motherfucker!
  • Girl 2: No you're not! You are definitely one of the 5 nicest people I've ever met!
  • Girl 1: I wish you knew nicer people.

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he's gonna feel that one in the morning

32 [+ / -]     Jun 10, 2008

  • This is a cat that lives in the window of this store on Clayton Street. I didn't believe it was real for the longest time because it's usually asleep, but it is!

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they're already working on the lifetime movie

-18 [+ / -]     Jun 06, 2008

  • Gay Man: Will somebody please just use a blunt object to beat the shit outta me?

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most people just don't want to die in dirty underwear

19 [+ / -]     Jun 03, 2008

  • Guy: I can't see if a car's coming.
  • Girl: I don't want to get run over with my new tan.

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not to mention all the potential for jokes about sausage

48 [+ / -]     May 30, 2008

  • Drunk Girl: (Eating pizza in front of City Bar) Mmm, this is so good! I want to marry a pizza. It doesn't talk, it doesn't bitch, and it satisfies me over and over.

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it's always more fun when it's a surprise

86 [+ / -]     May 27, 2008

  • Drunk Sorostitute: Dixeland Sweet Tea, please!
  • Bartender: 5 dollars.
  • Drunk Sorostitute: What's in it?
  • Bartender: We're not supposed to tell.
  • Drunk Sorostitute: It's ok, I won't remember tomorrow, I was just wondering how fucked up I'm going to be.

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better luck next time

12 [+ / -]     May 26, 2008

  • (Drunk Guy walks outside to pass back IDs)
  • Drunk Guy: (to bouncer, with IDs in hand) They are 18 but can you let them in anyway?
  • (Bouncer proceeds to throw all of them out)

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they must be running low on those big-ass letters

60 [+ / -]     May 23, 2008

  • The marquee at the Georgia Theatre.

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this is a ben stiller movie waiting to happen

160 [+ / -]     May 23, 2008

  • Drunk Girl: Baby, please can we go home?
  • Fratty: Listen, go to Little Italy, then take a cab home and I'll call you in a little while.
  • (She walks away, he walks to the bar to another girl)
  • Fratty: If we go to my place now, I can just bring you home later.
  • Girl 2: I just heard what you said to Ashley.
  • Fratty: How'd you know her name?
  • Girl 2: She's my roommate.

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bookshelf local 706 forms a picket line to protest the closing of the last independent newsstand in athens

19 [+ / -]     May 22, 2008

  • All the magazine racks and bookshelves from Barnett's were out on College Avenue when they were cleaning before closing the store for good.

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don't think we don't remember you from last time

21 [+ / -]     May 21, 2008

  • Female Customer: Can I have a small decaf hazelnut... and the key to the bathroom, please?
  • Male Barista: Okay, but don't pee all over the floor.

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"um... guys? there's a really tall white dude growing out of your shoulders"

4 [+ /