Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

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Quotes Filed Under "Downtown"


good thing they installed a revolving door at the jail

16 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2009

  • (Walking away from Buddha Bar to a car)
  • Drunk guy: Man, tonight was great!
  • Sober guy: You better watch out, they are running a road block down the road.
  • Drunk guy: Man, I can't go to jail, my PO would be pissed as hell at me!

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that's how you know you're in georgia

-49 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2009

  • (A girl is giving another girl a piggyback ride)
  • Guy: Ew, look at those lesbians.
  • Girl: Yeah, and we're sisters, too.
  • Guy: Kinky.

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after all, everyone else is getting a bailout

145 [+ / -]     May 28, 2009

  • Homeless Man: Can I have some change? I just really need some change, man, please, can I have some change?
  • Girl: Obama's got your change!

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they're easier to catch that way

56 [+ / -]     May 06, 2009

  • (Two guys watch an attractive woman with a limp walk by)
  • Guy 1: Aw, she has a limp.
  • Guy 2: I like that in a girl.

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does hope wear a funny hat?

-36 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2009

  • (Girl and Guy are ordering food and discussing HOPE scholarship enrollment requirements)
  • Guy: You can get partial HOPE with six hours.
  • Cashier: Dude, I must be really fried from the long day, because I thought you guys were talking about how you were going to meet the Pope in six hours, and I was all like, "The Pope? That's cool, man."

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that's what you get for partying at officemax

15 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • guy passed out on the couch at transmet after the bama game.

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but apparently not the best answer

133 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • (Girl in a five-person car with six people is being pulled over)
  • Cop: May I see your license, please?
  • (Girl hands over her license)
  • Cop: This isn't your fake, is it?
  • Girl: (frightened, pulling back license) Oh, no, this is mine.
  • Cop: Do you have your fake with you?
  • Girl: Um, I don't have a fake.
  • Cop: Good answer. Can you step out of the car, please?

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patterson wrote on your wall

40 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2009

  • Just in case its unclear:
  • Russ:
    Fuck you
    -Patterson
  • Patterson:
    Try to suck less dick
    -Everyone

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"stay in school" apparently doesn't count

-71 [+ / -]     Jan 17, 2009

  • Girl 1: So, the bartender at the club was really rude to me! He called me out at the end of the night for not tipping him! I couldn't believe it!
  • Girl 2: Well, how many beers did you have?
  • Girl 1: Five.

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there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

-50 [+ / -]     Jan 08, 2009

  • Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! What are you doing in Athens?!
  • (Pause)
  • Sober Guy: I live here.
  • Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! Me too!

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sure, if you're a nazi

-78 [+ / -]     Dec 08, 2008

  • Girl 1: Let's go see a movie!
  • Girl 2: I really want to see The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.
  • Girl 1: Oh okay! Is it a comedy?

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but some are more obvious than others

100 [+ / -]     Dec 04, 2008

  • White girl: Everyone has their little weird body thing... hairy feet, webbed toes...
  • Black guy: ...being black.

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brains... brains... brains...

-60 [+ / -]     Nov 18, 2008

  • A creeper in the background

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alcohol significantly affects pattern recognition

151 [+ / -]     Nov 11, 2008

  • Drunk redneck: You fucking suck!
  • Bagpipes guy: Shut the hell up, fucker!
  • Drunk redneck: At least I'm not playing a fiddle!
  • Bagpipes guy: Neither am I, dumbass!

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this just in, optimism does not prevent cancer

16 [+ / -]     Oct 27, 2008

  • Girl 1. I love to smoke.
  • Girl 2. Yeah but, do you ever think about the health issues?
  • Girl 1. The only one I care about is wrinkles. That's the only really bad effect.

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that's the other kind of free ride

57 [+ / -]     Oct 24, 2008

  • Girl 1: Take WatchDawgs home!
  • Girl 2: Okay, who's he?
  • Girl 1: What!? It's a free safe ride service, and we're here, so ride.
  • Girl 2: Oh, no thanks. I'm trying to find a man.

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does anyone else feel a breeze?

58 [+ / -]     Oct 23, 2008

  • sitting outside of the ga theatre after the vandy game

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look but don't touch, but neither when you with your better half

38 [+ / -]     Oct 16, 2008

  • Black Girl: She's a hoe.
  • Asian Guy: How can you tell?
  • Black Girl: I can see her thong through her dress.
  • Asian Guy: Well to me, that says available.
  • Black Girl: Excuse me?
  • Asian Guy: (falters) You know... if I wasn't with you. I love you.
  • Black Girl: Shut the fuck up and get me a drink.

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the effects of the economy are worse than we thought

73 [+ / -]     Oct 14, 2008

  • Homeless guy: Yo man, gimme some money, I want me some coffee.
  • Student: Okay wait, lemme guess. You're on your way to work?

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tryouts for the new season of jackass are going well

48 [+ / -]     Oct 12, 2008

  • (While hurriedly walking down Broad Street on a Saturday night)
  • Drunk Fratty 1: You say this guy is the real deal, that he knows what he's doing, but how can we be sure?
  • Drunk Fratty 2: Dude, relax... he's been tasered like eighteen times.

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a walk to remember

114 [+ / -]     Oct 07, 2008

  • (Homeless Guy walks up elbow-to-elbow with Student)
  • Homeless Guy: Yo, I'm walkin' with y'all, man.
  • Student: What? Who are you? What the fuck?
  • Homeless Guy: Shhhhhh. I'm walkin' witchu.

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the cake is a lie

4 [+ / -]     Oct 05, 2008

  • Taken in the alley behind Flannigan's. It looks like someone may have been locked in the alley til Thursday and much like a prisoner etched the days in the wall this person just wrote the days on the door.

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you can't do shooters when you're asleep

-64 [+ / -]     Oct 04, 2008

  • (Georgia / Alabama game day morning)
  • Sorostitute 1: Come on, they'll have water at the tailgate!
  • Sorostitute 2: Fuck water, I need my latte!

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i'm sure someone could find you a pencil sharpener

4 [+ / -]     Sep 22, 2008

  • (Outside Starbucks, trying to register voters)
  • Registration guy: The next time somebody walks past us, I'm going to stick a pencil up their ass.

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"...screw it. wanna fuck or not?"

187 [+ / -]     Sep 21, 2008

  • Guy: This is a classy joint, what's a lady like you doing in here?
  • Girl: Uh...
  • Guy: Wait... wait... that's not how it goes, is it?

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she pays for med school the old-fashioned way

86 [+ / -]     Sep 20, 2008

  • Drunk Guy: You can't party like me.
  • Drunk Girl: Oh, yes I can.
  • Drunk Guy: Bet you 100 dollars you don't last 'til midnight.
  • Drunk Girl: Alright, 100 dollars. Easiest money I ever made. Besides that lap dance earlier.

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so in other words, just like a normal friday night

19 [+ / -]     Sep 17, 2008

  • Freshman Dude 1: Ok, so what exactly is hazing?
  • Freshman Dude 2: Well, basically it's when they strip you down naked in the middle of downtown.

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which, despite the misclassification, is mostly true

12 [+ / -]     Sep 13, 2008

  • Guy: (After passing two younger homeless guys) Dude, townies are so gross.

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after a certain point you should just let them go

148 [+ / -]     Sep 11, 2008

  • Hungover Sorostitute on cell: Hey, is this SandBar? Okay, did you find any panties in the women's bathroom last night?

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damn, i must have left it in my other overalls

142 [+ / -]     Sep 10, 2008

  • 6-year-old boy: Can I have something to drink?
  • Bartender: May I see some ID first?

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observe the humble wallflorius athenius in her natural environment

42 [+ / -]     Sep 09, 2008

  • Nothing like a crazy night on the town to get you pumped!

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good friends will never lie to you

165 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

  • Drunk Girl 1: Look, I drank so much downtown that my stomach is poking out in my dress!
  • Drunk Girl 2: Your stomach was poking out well before we went downtown.

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drinking too much had nothing to do with it

6 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

  • (Leaving downtown after the GA Southern game, a guy is getting arrested)
  • Drunk Girl: Oh, I feel sorry for him!
  • Drunk Guy: Fuck that, he's a Southern fan!
  • Drunk Girl: Ha ha, that's what you get when you play the Dawgs!

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attention freshmen... this is how not to order a beer

90 [+ / -]     Aug 18, 2008

  • (Drunk Freshman orders a PBR)
  • Bartender: That'll be $2.25.
  • Drunk Freshman: I put $4 in there (points to tip jar).
  • Bartender: Okay, but you have to pay me for the beer.
  • Drunk Freshman: But I put my money in that pitcher!
  • Bartender: Well, that's the tip jar. That's where you put tips. You pay me for the alcohol you purchase.
  • Drunk Freshman: I put four dollars in there. Can I just have the beer?
  • Bartender: I don't think you understand. That's not where you pay. You pay the bartenders for your drinks. Then, if you choose, you put a tip in the jar. I can't just give you a beer because you say that you put $4 in the tip jar.
  • Drunk Freshman: Can I just have the beer? I already gave money.
  • Bartender: I don't understand what you want from me.

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the new segway... complete with training wheel

23 [+ / -]     Jul 21, 2008

  • ACCPD's new and "cheaper" way too patrol downtown.

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careful what you wish for... they have night sticks

263 [+ / -]     Jul 14, 2008

  • (As Drunk Guy is getting arrested by the cops and put in cop car)
  • Cop: Any requests?
  • Drunk Guy: Yeah... 95.5 The Beat!

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we call that living vicariously

35 [+ / -]     Jul 04, 2008

  • Girl 1: (referring to Girl 2's sandwich) Here, let me get that for you.
  • Girl 2: No, you're always buying me stuff.
  • Girl 1: Nuh uh, what?
  • Girl 2: Like drinks downtown.
  • Girl 1: Oh, that's because you're the DD.

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if only this happened at the vortex

6 [+ / -]     Jul 04, 2008

  • Lifehouse Guy: Thank you guys for waiting months to see us. You even dealt with tornadoes!
  • Sorostitute: There were tornadoes in Atlanta? I thought tornadoes couldn't happen in cities because of all the tall buildings.

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the townie version of "one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer"

52 [+ / -]     Jun 30, 2008

  • Drunk guy placing an order: Yeah, can i get a chocolate shake, a PBR and a water?

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drowning in the sea of humans

-129 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2008

  • The AthFest 2008 crowd on Washington St.
    Reprinted with permission. Courtesy of OMGPARTY.COM

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