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Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

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Quotes Filed Under "Dumbass"


double science fail

41 [+ / -]     Mar 02, 2010

  • Professor: Can anyone name a mammal that needs to hold its breath for a long time?
  • Student 1: A frog?
  • Professor: Um, no. Definitely not a frog.
  • Student 2: A manatee?
  • Professor: What's a manatee?

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maybe you, but not the rest of us

0 [+ / -]     Mar 02, 2010

  • Student 1: We're eukaryote, right?
  • Student 2: Yeah, we're eukaryotic. We're animals.
  • Student 1: And we're unicellular? Or maybe just two cells?

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automatic diarrhea for the people

-32 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2010

  • Girl 1: Where you want to go eat?
  • Girl 2: I don't know. Weaver D's?
  • Girl 1: I've never been there before. Isn't that a seafood restaurant?
  • Girl 2: No, that's Captain D's!
  • Girl 1: Oh yeah, you're right.

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how you know it's time to stop the olympics drinking game

3 [+ / -]     Feb 23, 2010

  • Girl: (watching Olympics) Wait, what do they speak in Denmark?
  • Guy: German?
  • Girl: No, I don't think so. Spanish? No that doesn't make sense. French? No. Yeah, maybe German.

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there's a second time for everything

37 [+ / -]     Feb 04, 2010

  • Guy: Man, that river is going to get just as high as it was the last time it was this high.

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they also said "gullible" isn't in the dictionary

44 [+ / -]     Jan 20, 2010

  • Sorostitute 1: Is Valentine's Day on the 17th this year?
  • Sorostitute 2: No, it's the same day every year.
  • Sorostitute 1: No it's not. Someone told me that it's like Christmas and is on a different day every year.

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obviously someone has never read the two towers

25 [+ / -]     Jan 16, 2010

  • (In Marine Biology class)
  • Professor: Can anyone name an animal that can't move?
  • Student: A tree!

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yeah, go ahead and lick it

6 [+ / -]     Jan 15, 2010

  • (Regarding the salt on the sidewalk)
  • Girl 1: Hey, what is that?
  • Girl 2: I dunno. It kinda looks like Dippin' Dots!

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it might be time to stop doing sudoku in class

-19 [+ / -]     Dec 13, 2009

  • Girl 1: (pronouncing slowly) Cy-pri-ot. Why do they make words so long?
  • Girl 2: I know, and in English, too!

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where are those "i park like an asshole" bumper stickers when you need them?

-12 [+ / -]     Nov 30, 2009

  • This asshole took up two whole spaces to park their Expedition at Target.

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i'll be the judge of that

39 [+ / -]     Nov 20, 2009

  • Sorostitute 1: Isn't your mom a judge?
  • Sorostitute 2: Yeah, she like a supreme court judge. No, wait, shes a probate court judge, but it's the same thing.

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insert joke about cutting the cheese here

-2 [+ / -]     Nov 20, 2009

  • (After returning home from the grocery store)
  • Sorostitute 1: Where is the Velveta?
  • Sorostitute 2: Oh, that's why I was in the cheese isle.

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maybe it's maxed out

19 [+ / -]     Oct 13, 2009

  • Girl 1: I hate my phone. It's a piece of crap. Like, when I plug it in, it says "Cannot Charge." I don't even know what that means.
  • Girl 2: (after an awkward silence) Seriously?

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d-i-c-t-i-o-n-a-r-y d-o-t c-o-m

-16 [+ / -]     Oct 05, 2009

  • Freshman Girl: (on laptop) How do you spell "caffeine?"
  • Freshman Guy: Hmm, I know this. Yeah, it's c-a-f-f-i-n-e.
  • Freshman Girl: Thanks. I've never had to spell that word in my life. But I guess that's the kind of stuff journalism majors have to know, huh?

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at least she'll get points for spelling her name right

18 [+ / -]     Sep 08, 2009

  • Shawty 1: Yeah gurl, I'm taking the GRE in the spring!
  • Shawty 2: What's the GRE?
  • Shawty 1: Haha, I don't know! My mom told me to take it.

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there should be an underage drinking handbook

84 [+ / -]     Sep 04, 2009

  • Bimbo: Do you guys have any drink specials?
  • Bartender: We've got dollar-off drafts.
  • Bimbo: What's a draft?
  • Bartender: Could I see your ID again?

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parking is hard when you see two of everything

14 [+ / -]     Sep 04, 2009

  • A neighbor missed the parking lot when attempting to park.

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looks like the parachute failed to deploy

25 [+ / -]     Aug 27, 2009

  • Some people drive forward when they should really be reversing.

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intelligence should count in there somewhere

62 [+ / -]     Aug 24, 2009

  • Professor: What defines quality of life? Happiness? Health? Money? Lack of acquired disease?
  • Sorostitute: Um, everyone knows that you can't acquire diseases, you are born with them.
  • Professor: Moving on now. Quality of life, anyone?

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tire tracks on the north quad would look kinda tacky

12 [+ / -]     Aug 19, 2009

  • Freshman Girl: God, I have to figure out this bus schedule. Why isn't there one that goes from Peabody to Park?1

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round two: guess what city we're in!

35 [+ / -]     Aug 18, 2009

  • Girl: I don't like what this place has, we need to go to Target.
  • Guy: We are at Target.
  • Girl: No, were at Wal-Mart!
  • Guy: Um, Look around. We are at Target.
  • (pause)
  • Girl: Shit!

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theoretically yes, though it might be hard to keep kosher

37 [+ / -]     Jul 24, 2009

  • Girl 1: I think he's Jewish... he has one of those hats on. I also think he's gay by the way he talks.
  • Girl 2: Can you be gay and Jewish?

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so is it chicken or fish?

19 [+ / -]     Jul 22, 2009

  • Girl: This was not what I wanted on my nachos. There are tomatoes on here. What kind of cheese is this?
  • Employee: We can take the tomatoes off, and the cheese is white cheddar.
  • Girl: Don't y'all have any American cheese?
  • Employee: No, I'm sorry, we don't.
  • Girl: (to friend) I can't believe they don't have any American cheese! Why wouldn't they have American cheese?
  • Customer in line: Because this is a Mexican restaurant?

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[+ / -]     Dec 31, 1969

    @
    Overheard by:
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it's in the back next to the 2010 super bowl

13 [+ / -]     Jul 02, 2009

  • Customer: Do you have the live action version of "Blood, The Last Vampire?"
  • Clerk: I didn't know there was one. Is it new or old?
  • Customer: I looked online and it said it comes out next month.

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yes, i do work on commission. why do you ask?

28 [+ / -]     Jun 30, 2009

  • Girl: Can you tell me the differences between the Dodge Ram 1500 and the Ford F-150?
  • Car Salesman: I don't know much about cars, just what's on the sticker.

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her work keeps her from traveling... or reading... too much

52 [+ / -]     Jun 18, 2009

  • Stripper: What do you do?
  • Horny guy: I travel a lot... heading to Vancouver next week.
  • Stripper: Vancouver?
  • Horny guy: Yeah, you know, British Columbia.
  • Stripper: Ooooh! South Carolina!
  • Horny guy: Yeah, Vancouver, South Carolina.

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they aren't known for their self-esteem

41 [+ / -]     Jun 08, 2009

  • Host: How many are in your party?
  • Sorostitute: (counts everyone) One, two, three, four, five... five.
  • Host: Did you count yourself?
  • Sorostitute: (counts again) One, two, three, four, five, six... six.

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better safe than stupid

119 [+ / -]     May 05, 2009

  • Sorostitute: I went the hospital last night.
  • Friend: Oh my God, why!?
  • Sorostitute: Well, at like 3:00 AM I ate a bunch of food and looked up diabetes on the Internet and I thought I had it, so I called an ambulance. But they said I'm good.

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simpson?

68 [+ / -]     May 01, 2009

  • Student: Could you tell me how much Homer's Odyssey costs?
  • Info lady: Who's the author?
  • Student: Homer...

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i wouldn't declare "mission accomplished" just yet

-34 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2009

  • Guy 1: Dude, you said her name right the first time! It took me like four tries.
  • Guy 2: I'm a stickler for pronunciation. But that's only because I used to mispronunciate all the time.

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if walt disney can do it...

131 [+ / -]     Apr 24, 2009

  • Girl 1: So, did you hear that they found a 40,000 year-old baby mammoth in ice?
  • Girl 2: No way! Was it still alive?
  • Girl 1: Seriously?

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in a past life, maybe?

21 [+ / -]     Mar 26, 2009

  • Drunk Girl: How old are you?
  • Bartender cleaning up her vomit: Twenty-six.
  • Drunk Girl: Have you ever been Twenty-four?

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so, none of the above

8 [+ / -]     Mar 24, 2009

  • Drunk Girl: Um, can I like, get a taco please?
  • Cashier: Sure. What kind would you like? Steak, chicken, or chorizo?
  • Drunk Girl: Um, like, meat, I guess?
  • Cashier: Well, what kind of meat? Steak, chicken, or chorizo?
  • Drunk Girl: Um, you know, like that stuff that comes on tacos at Taco Bell?

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i'll have a salt and pepper light

-29 [+ / -]     Mar 24, 2009

  • Beer Tour Guide: Who can tell me three ingredients in beer?
  • Fratty 1: Alcohol!
  • Beer Tour Guide: No, that's actually a by-product.
  • Fratty 2: Salt and pepper!

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easy come, easy go

16 [+ / -]     Mar 21, 2009

  • Freshman girl: You want to hear a really embarrassing story? At graduation, you know how you're supposed to throw your hat? I threw my diploma instead.

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understanding temperature is not one of them

-56 [+ / -]     Mar 09, 2009

  • Fratty 1: All of this snow and shit better be gone when I get back from fucking spring break, man.
  • Fratty 2: It'll be over a week from now, so I'm pretty sure it'll all be gone.
  • Fratty 1: You never know man. Global warming does all kinds of crazy shit.

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even more common than you might think

24 [+ / -]     Mar 07, 2009

  • I hope this happens at Tech too...

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hope she scores a perfect 320%

21 [+ / -]     Mar 03, 2009

  • Sorostitute: So our final for that class is gonna be eight questions, which scares me because that means each one is worth, like, 40% of the test.

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vendredi gras and ash saturday don't have the same ring

87 [+ / -]     Feb 25, 2009

  • (After seeing girls dressed in green, yellow and purple pile into a taxi)
  • Girl: Looks like someone's going downtown to celebrate Mardi Gras.
  • Guy: Lucky! Ugh! Why does it have to be on a Tuesday this year?

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kicker for the falcons, dumbass

-60 [+ / -]     Feb 23, 2009

  • Fratty 1: So I heard Michael Adams makes like $600,000.
  • Fratty 2: Who's Michael Adams?

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funny, i don't remember voting for him

22 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2009

  • Sorostitute: Who is that guy?
  • Guy: Really? That's the President.
  • Sorostitute: Of the United States?
  • Guy: No.
  • Sorostitute: I mean, not the current President. You know what I mean.
  • Guy: No, that's the President of UGA.
  • Sorostitute: Oh, hah. Wait, we have a President of UGA?

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let's hope it wasn't an english assignment

10 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2009

  • Guy 1: I'm not slow, I'm just less speedier than everybody else.
  • Guy 2: Less speedier. I think that explains everything right there.

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can you repeat the question?

72 [+ / -]     Feb 17, 2009

  • Sorostitute 1: So my Philosophy professor was telling my class about his professor in college making their final one question. So we asked what the question was and he said "Why?"
  • Sorostitute 2: That's so mean to not tell you the question.

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now if you'll excuse me, i'm off to math class

-57 [+ / -]     Feb 16, 2009

  • Guy: What time is it? I have to get to class.
  • Girl: 7:25.
  • Guy: Sweet! I'm five minutes early for being ten minutes early.
  • Girl: Oh my gosh, why are you coming to class 25 minutes early? You're such an overachiever, you bookworm!

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"hello? geico? i was wondering if i have the complete dumbass coverage on my policy..."

61 [+ / -]     Feb 15, 2009

  • apparently she didn't notice that the driveway ended...

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alaho!

-53 [+ / -]     Feb 13, 2009

  • Sign in the College Station Kroger, taken 2-12-09

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when she stops lying, she can finally become a real blond

96 [+ / -]     Feb 10, 2009

  • (During a weight lifting class)
  • Girl 1: I want blonder hair. I think I'm going to get highlights.
  • Girl 2: Yeah, my hair is naturally blond, but for some reason my roots come out brown.

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what does that say about kindergarten teachers?

18 [+ / -]     Feb 09, 2009

  • Student 1: I just got my paper back, and the good thing about college is that the teachers, they have been through college.
  • Student 2: What do you mean?
  • Student 1: Well in high school my english teacher always tried to correct me, but what does she know? She never went to college.
  • Student 2: Why do you say that?
  • Student 1: Because she taught high school.

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she got it from a strange man on halloween

73 [+ / -]     Feb 04, 2009

  • Girl 1: Wait, why are there four main characters in The Three Musketeers?
  • Girl 2: Because it's all about the wannabe guy, but he's not actually part of the three.
  • Girl 1: Oh, right! I guess that's why the candy is called Four Musketeers!
  • Guy: Uh, where do you buy your candy?

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her MRS degree is a double major

96 [+ / -]     Feb 04, 2009

  • Sorostitute 1: Oh, what, so you believe in more than one god?
  • Sorostitute 2: Yeah, I'm a polygamist!

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don't forget to take wind resistance into account

57 [+ / -]     Feb 03, 2009

  • Athlete 1: What is the size of Africa?
  • Athlete 2: It's 200,000 square miles per hour.

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as long as there is no grammar involved

-89 [+ / -]     Feb 03, 2009

  • Guy: Yeah, I always do good on standardized tests.

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sure, just use twice as much

-35 [+ / -]     Feb 02, 2009

  • (During a cooking demonstration)
  • Chef: And then you'll want to add one cup of full cream.
  • Sorostitute: Full cream? That's, like, half-and-half, right?

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up next, the left-handed cup

-49 [+ / -]     Jan 28, 2009

  • Guy: It always throws me off that the fountain heads are on the other side of the water fountains in this building.
  • Girl: I know! They must be for left-handed people!

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or maybe they were too busy getting a decent education

81 [+ / -]     Jan 27, 2009

  • Professor: So does anyone know why Rhode Island didn't send delegates to the convention?
  • Female Student: Because they were really little?
  • Fratty: Because they were an island. They didn't have cars.

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despite the math, he does make a good point

45 [+ / -]     Jan 22, 2009

  • Old Guy 1: So, is it cold enough for ya?
  • Old Guy 2: I about froze my ass off out there. I talked to my cousin who lives in Winnipeg. They count in Celsius up there, and he said it's -50, which means -100 in normal temperature. That's cold.

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political correctness isn't just for the sober anymore

107 [+ / -]     Jan 20, 2009

  • Sober Guy: Don't be such a retard!
  • Drunk Guy: They prefer the term "little people."

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and she probably pronounces it "expresso"

-35 [+ / -]     Jan 20, 2009

  • Girl on cell: Oh my God, I'm at a coffee shop but I don't really like coffee. Wait, does chocolate have any caffeine in it?
  • (pause)
  • Girl on cell: Oh, good! I think I'll get myself a mocha.

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is that like the flammable / inflammable thing?

16 [+ / -]     Jan 14, 2009

  • (Girl throws a banana peel into the woods)
  • Guy: You're such a litterbug.
  • Girl: It doesn't count if it's decomposable.
  • Guy: Um, don't you mean combustible?
  • Girl: Well, I guess that could work, too.

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