Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link
 

Quotes Filed Under "Facebook"


sounds like that's how things are already

80 [+ / -]     Mar 30, 2009

  • Sorostitute on Cell: Why do you want to make our relationship official on Facebook?
  • (pause)
  • Sorostitute on Cell: Wait, so you think I'm going to cheat on you if our relationship is not FBO?
  • (pause)
  • Sorostitute on Cell: You know what I could do? I can make it so that you can see that we're in a relationship, but nobody else can!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece


he's the worst stalker ever

-56 [+ / -]     Dec 21, 2008

  • Drunk Freshman Girl 1: Like, ohmigod, I should be falling over right, now!
  • Drunk Freshman Girl 2: No, girl, you're fine.
  • Drunk Freshman Girl 1: And, ohmigod! Like, why was Joseph kissing all over me?
  • Drunk Freshman Girl 2: Because he doesn't know that you have a boyfriend!
  • Drunk Freshman Girl 1: Ohmigod, does he not check Facebook? Like, what the eff?
  • Drunk Freshman Girl 2: I guess not, girl.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


that's the last time i sign up for a class with dr. dre

12 [+ / -]     Dec 08, 2008

  • (Professor is taking about a quiz application on Facebook)
  • Professor: Some of you will find that you might be higher than how high you think you are.
  • (laughter)
  • Professor: I meant the results on the quiz!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


wait... we are talking about facebook, right?

19 [+ / -]     Aug 25, 2008

  • (While waiting at the Georgia Center bus stop)
  • Guy on cell: Dude! You've been poking her all day? That means she's been poking you back!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


click here to add the horrible in bed application

139 [+ / -]     Aug 18, 2008

  • Guy: Man, I was drunk as shit last night. Dude, I hooked up with a freshman. I don't think she liked it though, I tried to friend her on Facebook and she blocked me.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


click here to add the fuckbuddies application

274 [+ / -]     Jul 16, 2008

  • (Two girls are looking at Facebook)
  • Girl 1: I dunno... Should I add him as a friend?
  • Girl 2: Yeah dude, totally. Look, you have two friends in common, that means you're acquaintances. Also, you slept with him.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


click here to add the taxi driver application

152 [+ / -]     Jun 16, 2008

  • Taxi Driver: Here's my card. You can call me whenever and I'll come pick you up. Also, it has my Facebook info on there, so you can add me to your friends.
  • Drunk Girl: Hell yeah! (Looks at card) I'll Facebook the shit out of you, Harold!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


"...happy mother's day! now do my laundry."

13 [+ / -]     May 11, 2008

  • This was seen on the facebook ad board. So yeah, go buy your mom flowers WITH HER MONEY. Way to go FTD.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


just start poking her... maybe she'll get the hint

52 [+ / -]     May 05, 2008

  • Fratty: Do you think I have a chance?
  • Girl: Just because you're her friend on Facebook doesn't mean she'll sleep with you.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


click here to add "soul mates" to your profile

100 [+ / -]     Mar 05, 2008

  • Girl 1: I'm pretty sure he is my soul mate.
  • Girl 2: How can you say that about someone you have never had a conversation with?
  • Girl 1: Well, I can just tell by stalking him on Facebook.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


my college counselor never mentioned that option

-48 [+ / -]     Feb 26, 2008

  • Roommate 1: (looking at Facebook) Is that the hot girl you work with?
  • Roommate 2:Yeah dude, and she's getting her PhD in Biochemistry.
  • Roommate 1: She should get a PhD on my penis.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


it's s small town and all, but still...

162 [+ / -]     Jan 25, 2008

  • Waitress: I went ahead a put you two on the same check
  • Couple 1: Umm, alright.
  • Waitress: I knew you were together. I've seen you both on Facebook.
  • (Waitress walks away)
  • Couple 2: Guess she only stalks y'all. Were all on separate checks. Do you even know her?
  • Couple 1: Nope. No idea.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


i have it on good authority from a P.I. - public internet

-5 [+ / -]     Jan 21, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: I think that's his ex girlfriend.
  • Sorostitute 2: Which one?
  • Sorostitute 1: The blonde.
  • Sorostitute 2: How do you know that?
  • Sorostitute 1: I stalked him on Facebook... and her too.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


there's an appropriate level of response for everything

46 [+ / -]     Dec 24, 2007

  • Sorostitute 1: Yeah, I thought she was dating him but she was really just sleeping with him. Then, we found out he was sleeping with some other girl, so we both wrote all this stuff on his Facebook profile, but he deleted it... then she totally defriended him!
  • Sorostitute 2: Wow! When I was mad at Deanna I just removed her from my top friends - I didn't totally defriend her.
  • Sorostitute 1: Yea, I guess that makes sense.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


because she's not getting poked enough already

80 [+ / -]     Dec 11, 2007

  • (Sorostitute sees her boyfriend with another girl at a bar)
  • Sorostitute: Who's that slut? I'm going to kill her! Actually I'll probably just Facebook friend her.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


that's practically a wedding

180 [+ / -]     Dec 07, 2007

  • Sorostitute: She's so wrong, I'm no slut. I wouldn't sleep with anyone until we were Facebook official.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


that's one way to crash a server

191 [+ / -]     Dec 04, 2007

  • (Heard across the computer floor in the SLC)
  • Girl: (yelling) Oh my God! My nipple is on Facebook!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


its important to think long-term

-54 [+ / -]     Jul 18, 2007

  • Sorostitute: Ohmigod! We'll like totally be FBFFL!!
  • Bartender: Huh?
  • Sorostitute: You know, Facebook Friends For Life!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


the real fun hasn't even started

-54 [+ / -]     Jul 08, 2007

  • Hungover guy: Last night was out of control!
  • Hungover girl: Downtown was crazy!
  • Together: I can't wait for the pictures to be tagged on Facebook!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


gentlemen, the ladies of mary lyndon need you

-11 [+ / -]     May 10, 2007

  • Girl 1: We've started a club in Mary Lyndon... the never-been-kissed, never-had-a-boyfriend club. Apparently, there's a high percentage of those kinds of girls in Mary Lyndon.
  • Girl 2: Ohmigod, is that a Facebook group?
  • Girl 1: No! We have more dignity than that!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


he could be president someday

40 [+ / -]     Apr 20, 2007

  • Professor: Nowadays, companies are looking at potential employees' Facebook profiles, MySpaces, things like that to see how they represent themselves. So watch what you put up online, it may cost you jobs down the line.
  • Fratty: See, but at the end of the day, if it came down to having 500 drunken pictures of me and my friends or a job, I'd pick the pictures!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


since when are they different?

120 [+ / -]     Apr 11, 2007

  • Guy 1: Are y'all friends?
  • Guy 2: You mean on Facebook?
  • Guy 1: In real life, dumbass.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


you should try everything once (except that and country line dancing)

100 [+ / -]     Apr 11, 2007

  • Guy: (looking at sorostitute's Facebook profile) You know you still have your gift to give out... and there's a cherry.
  • Sorostitute: Yeah, I kinda want to give it to my brother.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


i guess he poked her one time too many

199 [+ / -]     Mar 29, 2007

  • Girl: My man knows I'm pregnant, I just sent him a message over Facebook.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


what would jesus write on my wall?

82 [+ / -]     Feb 23, 2007

  • Girl 1: I gave up Facebook for Lent.
  • Girl 2: What?! You can't give up Facebook!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


someone needs to stop sleeping during sex

124 [+ / -]     Feb 21, 2007

  • Guy 1: So have y'all seen that Facebook group called "If a girl gets pregnant it's her fault?"
  • Guy 2: Yeah, they're like "Do you need an alarm clock to remember to take your pill everyday, bitch?"
  • Girl: Well, do you need an alarm clock to not come inside of me?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


oia salutes uga vs ole miss

-25 [+ / -]     Sep 30, 2006

  • Guy on cell: Dude, where are you? I'm beside the hedges.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


oia salutes uga vs colorado

4 [+ / -]     Sep 23, 2006

  • Roommate 1: So she said her little sister facebooked Matt Stafford and asked him to her date night.
  • Roommate 2: Who's Matt Stafford?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


6 of one, half dozen of the other

75 [+ / -]     Sep 10, 2006

  • Girl: I have a question about the new facebook notices. If you are a guy and take off "is interested in women," does it say "X is no longer interested in women" or does it say "X has come out of the closet?"

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


you cannot poke yourself

113 [+ / -]     Jul 03, 2006

  • Girl 1: Athens is so slow in the summer.
  • Girl 2: I know, I hate that no one is even around to stalk me on Facebook.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


why god gave us such a wonderful tool

18 [+ / -]     May 27, 2006

  • Girl 1: Hey, it's cool. I had a one night stand with my friend's brother.
  • Girl 2: But at least you knew him. You'd be able to recognize him the next day. I would never have even known what this guy looked like without Facebook!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


not even tom wants to be her friend

36 [+ / -]     May 17, 2006

  • Girl: What is Facebook?
  • Guy: It's like MySpace, except just for college students. You get on and talk to people.
  • Girl: Well, I'm not in college, I don't have a laptop and I don't give a fuck about anyone about myself.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


can we work this out while i work this out?

288 [+ / -]     May 07, 2006

  • Sorostitute on cell: Hey. Oh. You saw it? Baby... baby. BABY! Don't be a bastard. I just took it off Facebook. That's all. We can still be boyfriend and girlfriend. I just don't want my sorority sisters to know. Baaaaby. Baby don't be a jackass. Well, I have to shit. Bye.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


beastiality wasn't an option

45 [+ / -]     Apr 20, 2006

  • Girl: I only like gay boys and republicans, I can't help it. It's my fatal flaw. Except for [him], he is neither.
  • Guy: How do you know [he] isn't gay?
  • Girl: He can't be! He just can't.
  • (Girl checks his facebook profile)
  • Girl: Oh my God, he doesn't have "interested in women" on his profile! He is gay! He must be gay! How have I missed this?!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


stalkerish? no. pathetic? yes.

23 [+ / -]     Apr 06, 2006

  • Girl: Every time a girl leaves something on his wall, I check Facebook to see if she's a slut. Is that stalkerish?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece