Quotes Filed Under "Greek Life"


after which he can finally earn his closet homosexuality merit badge

-48 [+ / -]     Jul 09, 2008

  • (A gaggle of ballcaps is walking by Trappeze)
  • Ballcap: My goal is for, by the end of pledge-ship, that every pledge see my entire cock and balls.

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we're guessing that isn't saying much

65 [+ / -]     Jun 16, 2008

  • Sorostitute: I mean, my date was a little too smart for me. He wore glasses.

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there might be a good reason for the memory loss

35 [+ / -]     Jun 13, 2008

  • Sorostitute: Me and Kim were talking and we're both tired of you blacking out and getting thrown out of the bar.
  • Fratty: Please! I can't remember the last time I got thrown out of a bar.

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royalty works a bit differently in the south

57 [+ / -]     Jun 04, 2008

  • Drunk Sorostitute: So where are you from?
  • Drunk Guy 1: Oh, I'm the Prince of Dubai.
  • Drunk Sorostitute: Oh, what about you? Where are you from?
  • Drunk guy 2: Texas.
  • Drunk Sorostitute: No way! You're from texas?! How exciting! Me too!

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it's always more fun when it's a surprise

76 [+ / -]     May 27, 2008

  • Drunk Sorostitute: Dixeland Sweet Tea, please!
  • Bartender: 5 dollars.
  • Drunk Sorostitute: What's in it?
  • Bartender: We're not supposed to tell.
  • Drunk Sorostitute: It's ok, I won't remember tomorrow, I was just wondering how fucked up I'm going to be.

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maybe you should aim a little higher

45 [+ / -]     May 20, 2008

  • Sorostitute: Formal is going to be so much fun. It is like, my dream to have my whole sorority come to my hometown and get shitfaced.

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"...and we're not gonna get sweaty, are we?"

77 [+ / -]     May 16, 2008

  • (At an intramural softball game)
  • Umpire: Okay, ladies, all jewelry needs to be removed.
  • Sorostitute: Um, does that include pearls?

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did you cover that in women's studies?

16 [+ / -]     May 16, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1:She needs to just admit that she's a slut.
  • Sorostitute 2: I know. I've woken up in strange guys beds with serious bruises and I've never cried rape.

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some people like to do it at denny's, apparently

18 [+ / -]     May 15, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: I have your dress, I washed it.
  • Sorostitute 2: Why did you wash it? Are there jizz stains on it?
  • Sorostitute 1: No! I just washed it so it would be clean.
  • Sorostitute 2: Whatever. If I find white crusties on my dress, I'll know it was you.
  • Sorostitute 1: If you find white crusties on your dress, I'm 99 percent positive it's ranch.

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he might have spoken a little too soon

98 [+ / -]     May 14, 2008

  • Fratty 1: Dude, it was a guy!
  • Fratty 2: Naw, man you're full of shit!
  • Fratty 1: Dude, I'm telling you, it was a guy!
  • Fratty 2: Naw, naw. It wasn't a guy!
  • Fratty 1: Dude, I swear to fuckin' God, it was a guy.
  • Fratty 2: What the fuck do you know? You're full of shit!
  • Fratty 1: No, dude, I swear to God, you were making out with a guy! You can ask anybody there.
  • (Fratty 2 begins to vomit)
  • Fratty 1: Dude, don't worry about it. Nobody knows, and I'm not going to tell anybody.
  • Fratty 2: Dude, you're a good friend.

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uga transit's been meaning to relabel those things for years

45 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: Crap! This bus is going the wrong way!
  • (She pulls the stop cord)
  • Sorostitute 2: This bus always goes this way!
  • Sorostitute 1: Why isn't the bus stopping? I pulled the cord!
  • Sorostitute 2: I don't think that's what it's for, but it does seem to piss the drivers off.

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the scary thing is it's plural

52 [+ / -]     May 09, 2008

  • Fratty: (to girl) Well, it was good to see you again. Good luck with your STDs.

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a veritable jolly rancher

54 [+ / -]     May 09, 2008

  • Drunk Sorostitute: (to bartender) I want something cheap, but bursting with flavor.
  • Annoyed woman next to her: I bet your ass is cheap but bursting with flavor.

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but look how well it's holding up that broken table leg

-10 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • Sorostitute: This is a really good book, I think I'm going to keep it.
  • Fratty: Did you read any of it?
  • Sorostitute: No.

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but look how well it's holding up that broken table leg

-10 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • Sorostitute: This is a reall