Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

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Quotes Filed Under "Hooking up"


that's how you know you're in georgia

-49 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2009

  • (A girl is giving another girl a piggyback ride)
  • Guy: Ew, look at those lesbians.
  • Girl: Yeah, and we're sisters, too.
  • Guy: Kinky.

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ah, sportsmanship

-38 [+ / -]     May 15, 2009

  • Football player on cell: Yeah man, I gave her herpes.
  • (pause)
  • Football player on cell: Nah, man, I'm not gonna tell her! She doesn't need to worry about that. She needs to be more worried about getting rid of that baby in her stomach.

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it's good to stay one step ahead

86 [+ / -]     May 14, 2009

  • Girl: (after introducing Guy to another girl) So, she's like the sluttiest girl I know.
  • Guy: Yeah, I already know her.

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they make pills for that

5 [+ / -]     May 12, 2009

  • Drunk girl: Did you say there's an open side of the bed?
  • Guy: yes?
  • Sober girl: She'll just end up laying on top of you.
  • Guy: I've been trying to get you to lay on me for four years.
  • Drunk girl: You haven't tried very hard.

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...but we didn't shake hands

68 [+ / -]     May 04, 2009

  • Fratty 1: Who're you going with to the formal?
  • Fratty 2: Jill.
  • Fratty 1: I don't know her.
  • Fratty 2: Yeah, you actually walked in on us once.
  • Fratty 1: Oh right, I have met her.

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if you're lucky

-52 [+ / -]     Apr 17, 2009

  • Fratty: Sex? Isn't that spread orally?

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not what they mean by women's studies

196 [+ / -]     Apr 05, 2009

  • (In the library at 1:00 am)
  • Guy 1: (walking in) So dude, where are we on the project?
  • Guy 2: Nowhere. I've spent the last two hours constructing a flow chart on how to get into the pants of the girl at the table next to me.

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a risky investment in this economy

-52 [+ / -]     Apr 01, 2009

  • Drunk fratty on cell: Man, I just spent $65 downtown tonight.
  • (pause)
  • Drunk fratty on cell: Yeah I'm going to hate myself in the morning.
  • (pause)
  • Drunk fratty on cell: Yeah, really going to hate myself in the morning. I'm broke. The only way it will be worth it is if that girl answers her phone.

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point / counterpoint

135 [+ / -]     Mar 25, 2009

  • (Drunk Guy and Drunk Girl making out at party)
  • Drunk Girl: I think it would probably be best if we stopped.
  • Drunk Guy: I think it would be best if you gave me head.

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wouldn't it be better to have 12 girls who know what they're doing?

81 [+ / -]     Mar 10, 2009

  • Guy 1: Suicide bombers are dumb. Why would you do that?
  • Guy 2: Well, if you really get 12 virgins...
  • Guy 1: Yeah, but you could just come to Athens and get twice that many! Well, I don't know about virgins.

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in this case, it wasn't worth a shot

107 [+ / -]     Mar 06, 2009

  • Drunk Girl: (to Guy) Hey, I need to get laid tonight. Will you buy me a shot?
  • (Guy and Drunk Girl take a shot)
  • Drunk Girl: Okay, thanks!
  • (Drunk Girl walks away)

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someone was a bit too drunk on valentine's day

33 [+ / -]     Mar 05, 2009

  • Guy: So, have you seen my new tattoo?
  • Girl: No! (looks at tattoo) I like it, what does it mean?
  • Guy: I'm not sure - either "love" or "free sex."

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friends with more than one benefit

132 [+ / -]     Mar 03, 2009

  • Guy 1: Man, I could really go for a hot French chick right now.
  • Guy 2: Why French?
  • Guy 1: Because after the sex, she could help me study for the midterm.

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...to try to figure out how to erase the mental image

67 [+ / -]     Feb 26, 2009

  • Girl: So we were at Thanksgiving Dinner and my grandma looks up and says, "My vagina burns!" Then she went on to complain about how she thought my grandpa was cheating on her and gave her some STD or something. All the kids got up and left the table.

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the likelihood of a credit card scam is about the same either way

24 [+ / -]     Feb 25, 2009

  • Fantasy World on Baxter.

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we call that "opportunity management"

100 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

  • Fratty: It's not really hit it and quit it. It's more like hit it, hit it, keep hitting it for a month... then quit it.

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that doesn't seem to be the only problem

39 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2009

  • Girl: I'm a lesbian and he's a gay man. We're obviously each others' soulmates... he just needs to realize he likes vagina.

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one out of two ain't bad

93 [+ / -]     Feb 14, 2009

  • Guy 1: I don't understand Valentine's Day, but I'll tell you what holiday I like. March 14th is Steak and BJ Day.
  • Guy 2: See, I can support a holiday like that.
  • Girl: I really don't like Valentine's either. I found out my boyfriend got me a present, now I have to get him something.
  • Guy 1: Just tell him you'll get him something for March 14th.
  • Girl: That won't work, I can't grill.

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maybe they'll park together on their next date

57 [+ / -]     Feb 13, 2009

  • Sorostitute 1: So I let him take off my shirt and bra, but I wasn't going to let him touch me. Didn't want him thinking I was easy.
  • Sorostitute 2: Yeah, that's a really good place to stop, can't let it go too far. He might want something more than just a look.

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sure, pull-ups, that's what they were gonna try

10 [+ / -]     Feb 11, 2009

  • (Couple gets on the bus)
  • Drunk Guy: So you think that the bus would be a good place to have some fun?
  • Drunk Girl: I'm not sure I could hold myself up that long.
  • Drunk Guy: Well let's try, I mean the bus driver isn't paying attention.
  • Driver: Umm, I don't really want to see her doing pull-ups on this bus.

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we vote that the cowgirl position be renamed to "the human shield"

217 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2009

  • Girl 1: So, my boyfriend came home with me for Christmas to meet my parents.
  • Girl 2: How did that go?
  • Girl 1: Well, my Dad got a shotgun for Christmas, and he held it up and told Jack that if he ever caught him fooling around with me, he would shoot him right there. Then Jack said that would be really hard if I was on top!

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i see what you did there...

13 [+ / -]     Feb 03, 2009

  • Guy 1: Gravity, a cruel and unpredictable mistress.
  • Guy 2: But she always goes down on you?

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it's relative to how good at it they were before

20 [+ / -]     Feb 03, 2009

  • Hipster guy 1: Dude I'm tellin' you, I'm so excited, I read it on the Internet.
  • Hipster guy 2: Dude, what?
  • Hipster guy 1: It said vegetarians have better sex! I'm so excited!

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how about a trip to the clinic for each one?

93 [+ / -]     Jan 29, 2009

  • Indie girl: I think I'm going to have to stop that policy about getting a tattoo for everyone I sleep with.
  • Guy: You could move to piercings.
  • Indie girl: Already doing that.
  • Guy: Or not count girls.

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is it friday night already?

31 [+ / -]     Jan 23, 2009

  • (After a failed keg stand)
  • Guy 1: You have to put it all the way in your mouth!
  • Guy 2: Only if you're pumping it while I do it!

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...or start betting the other way

102 [+ / -]     Jan 23, 2009

  • Girl 1: I am not going home with him, I will bet you ten dollars.
  • Girl 2: Okay!
  • (She comes back five minutes later and hands both of them a ten dollar bill)
  • Girl 1: I'll call you in the morning to let you know I'm still alive!
  • Girl 2: (to Girl 3) She should just stop betting us.

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please stand behind the yellow line and keep everything in your pants

339 [+ / -]     Jan 18, 2009

  • Girl: No! I'm not going to do that on a bus.
  • Guy: Come on, no one is on the bus.
  • Girl: I'm not going down on you here. What about the driver?
  • Guy: He can't hear or see us where we are sitting.
  • Bus Driver: I can hear and see you.

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turns out it's death by non sequitur

23 [+ / -]     Jan 16, 2009

  • Fratty 1: That projector doesn't look safe. I wouldn't sit under it.
  • Fratty 2: Oh, I'm not. When I'm in a room I go ahead and look around to figure out all the ways the Final Destination movie would try to kill me.
  • Fratty 1: Oh... so did you get with that chick last night?

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his odds improve the further south he goes

130 [+ / -]     Jan 12, 2009

  • Old guy: So is this your boyfriend?
  • Girl: No. This is my best friend.
  • Guy: Yeah. She's like my cousin. And I only say cousin because there's still that chance we could fuck.

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admitting you have a problem is the first step

226 [+ / -]     Jan 09, 2009

  • Sorostitute: What made you think my boyfriend wanted to make out with you?
  • Gay Guy: His erection.

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to be or not to be, that is the motherfucking question

-74 [+ / -]     Jan 04, 2009

  • Guy 1: This motherfucker right here...
  • Guy 2: I've never fucked a mother. To my knowledge.
  • Guy 1: To your knowledge.

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being the fill-in is a tough job, but someone's gotta do it

72 [+ / -]     Jan 02, 2009

  • (On New Year's Eve)
  • Gay Guy: Since we're the only single ones here, we have to kiss at midnight.
  • Straight Girl: Sounds good.
  • Gay Guy: Unless I find a hot guy in the next fifteen minutes, then you're out.

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desperate times call for desperate measures

133 [+ / -]     Dec 17, 2008

  • Girl 1: So, it's seriously not cheating if your dad is in the hospital detoxing and your boyfriend has a brain tumor?
  • Girl 2: Plus with finals coming up.
  • Girl 1: Exactly.

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i don't think his required as much preparation

-52 [+ / -]     Dec 13, 2008

  • Straight Guy: After this test I have an oral exam in Spanish.
  • Gay Guy: Oh, I had an oral this morning, too. It was good!

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