Brand New:
Overseen in Athens


For years you've been watching your tongue so that what you say doesn't end up here. Now, you'll have to watch how you look. You never know who has a camera.

Here's the link
 

Quotes Filed Under "Welcome to the south"


and they say we southerners are closed minded

-4 [+ / -]     Feb 23, 2010

  • Server: Do you know what you'd like?
  • Redneck in Camo 1: What's the difference between these soft tacos and these hard tacos?
  • Server: I don't understand.
  • Redneck in Camo 2: The hard ones are like, real tacos, and the soft ones are the real Mexican shit.
  • Redneck in Camo 1: Hell, I'll have one'a each. Git somma dat real shit, heh heh!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


that's how you know you're in georgia

-48 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2009

  • (A girl is giving another girl a piggyback ride)
  • Guy: Ew, look at those lesbians.
  • Girl: Yeah, and we're sisters, too.
  • Guy: Kinky.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


we've come so far

136 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2009

  • Drunk sorostitute: Hey guys, this is my friend! She's black!
  • Sober Black Girl: (looks at her skin) Oh, really? Oh, shit! Look at that, I am black! News to me.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


down into the pit with the lions

35 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2009

  • (Young student is standing on top of the stairs on Baldwin St. preaching the Bible)
  • Sorostitute: What is that guy doing up there?
  • Fratty: Oh he's just one of those God freaks.
  • Sorostitute: I'll give you twenty dollars to push him!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (17) | Speak Your Piece


jill was terrified when she saw it. "bubba can't see this," she screamed.

22 [+ / -]     Feb 10, 2009

  • Car parked in intramural fields. Incase you can't read it, its says "White trash lover" (notice the condoms on the rack). Looks like someone pissed the wrong girl off.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (12) | Speak Your Piece


oh crap... i hear banjos!

165 [+ / -]     Feb 03, 2009

  • Professor: Last wednesday we discussed what a good argument would be for believing that Obama will succeed in office, today it will be the opposite.
  • (Professor waits for hands to go up)
  • Redneck: (eventually raising his hand) Well... he is black.
  • (The entire class looks at him)
  • Redneck: I'm only kidding, for Christ's sake, I was gonna vote for him if he wasn't a liberal... and a Muslim communist extremist.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


his odds improve the further south he goes

132 [+ / -]     Jan 12, 2009

  • Old guy: So is this your boyfriend?
  • Girl: No. This is my best friend.
  • Guy: Yeah. She's like my cousin. And I only say cousin because there's still that chance we could fuck.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (3) | Speak Your Piece


does that mean she was naughty or nice?

56 [+ / -]     Jan 03, 2009

  • (three days before Christmas)
  • Redneck shopper: I'm going to get Madison a whoopee cushion and some spray cheese.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


what if jesus keeps it red forever?

175 [+ / -]     Dec 11, 2008

  • (At a stop light on Broad St)
  • Christian Advocate: (runs up to a car) May I speak to you about our lord Jesus Christ?
  • Guy in Car: You got until this light turns green to convert me. Go!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


we're cool with that as long as that guy isn't there

-3 [+ / -]     Oct 21, 2008

  • Standing outside of the stadium at the vandy game.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (8) | Speak Your Piece


stereotype confirmed

64 [+ / -]     Sep 27, 2008

  • Georgia Fan: Are you guys, like, cousins?
  • Alabama Guy and Girl: How'd you know!?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


pick me! pick me! huh? what do you mean there's no one there? stupid mask.

2 [+ / -]     Sep 20, 2008

  • Apparently, Walmart had a little "fair" that featured wrestling. This guy is wearing a dollar store wrestling championship belt and an awesome mask.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


and he only drinks the champagne of beers

35 [+ / -]     Sep 16, 2008

  • Brunette girl: She called my dad a redneck!
  • Redhead girl: Well, is he a redneck?
  • Brunette girl: Oh, no! He is so far from a redneck. He watches Formula 1, not NASCAR.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


cue the banjo

108 [+ / -]     Sep 15, 2008

  • (Boyfriend and Girlfriend are arguing over who will pay for dinner)
  • Waitress: So... are you two brother and sister?
  • Boyfriend: Brother and sister with benefits.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


he's buying a copy of usa yesterday

26 [+ / -]     Jul 31, 2008

  • This man is obviously waiting for the news that the south is gonna rise again.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (7) | Speak Your Piece


dammit earl, why does fido always get the front seat?

59 [+ / -]     Jun 09, 2008

  • I snapped this while some friends and I were stuck in traffic on 316. You can't tell by this picture but she had a cigarette in one hand and was texting on her phone in the other.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (9) | Speak Your Piece


probably not too far from the truth

237 [+ / -]     May 23, 2008

  • Professor: What does it say at the beginning of the Georgia Constitution?
  • Student: Listen up, y'all.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


a game the whole family can play

-22 [+ / -]     May 20, 2008

  • Young Hippie Girl: I just found out my 15 year old cousin is pregnant.
  • Older Hippie Guy: Yeah? My brother and sister just had a baby.
  • (Pause)
  • Older Hippie Guy: I mean, it was adopted so it's not like, you know, blood, or anything.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


oxford, khaki, penny loafer, and button-down: the four horsemen of the pimpocalypse

-4 [+ / -]     May 19, 2008

  • four bible thumpers preaching about the end of the world in the middle of broad street downtown. it's hard to read, but the sign says "drunkenness is sin."

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (14) | Speak Your Piece


if they touch, they might both disappear

54 [+ / -]     May 11, 2008

  • Sorostitute: So she was just like, "Hey, I'm just gonna warn you. I know you're a Republican and that guy is gay... so be careful."

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


except that the blood wine thing would get him crazy DUIs

12 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

  • Bumper sticker on someone's jeep.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


it must be summertime in athens

-8 [+ / -]     May 08, 2008

  • pbr, cheap red wine, vodka soaked watermelon

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


it was love at first sight

30 [+ / -]     May 05, 2008

  • Portable guest bedrooms?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


9/10 biblical scholars agree. the 10th is from alabama.

57 [+ / -]     May 04, 2008

  • Girlfriend: You need a haircut.
  • Boyfriend: Jesus didn't need haircuts.
  • Girlfriend: Jesus didn't have a mullet!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


ah, the fine southern art of airbrushing

14 [+ / -]     May 03, 2008

  • On the back of a huge white van driven by an old man wearing overalls.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (6) | Speak Your Piece


a new approach for the drivers of serial killer vans

26 [+ / -]     Apr 30, 2008

  • there's no telling who's locked up in the back of it

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


marketing 101: it's always better to have a diversified sales portfolio

71 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • Sign seen on Cherokee Rd. a few months back leading to some mobile homes

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


"...i'm a sucker for butterscotch"

-23 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • Girl 1: I love the Pope!
  • Girl 2: Wait, I thought you hated Catholics?
  • Girl 1: I do, but I love cute little old men.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (5) | Speak Your Piece


h8n mstrb8n was too long

23 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

  • A license plate from a right winger

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (1) | Speak Your Piece


9 out of 10 statisticians agree. the 10th one died.

42 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • Tate Preacher: Death is the number one killer of all people. Ten out of ten people will die.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (2) | Speak Your Piece


any good southerner will tell you that there's no singular form

118 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

  • (At breakfast)
  • UCLA Gymnastics Coach: Umm... I have just one question before we order. What is a "grit?"

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (4) | Speak Your Piece


still waiting for the spaceship with her newest husband

-27 [+ / -]     Apr 14, 2008

  • Sorostitute: I finally figured out how many times I have to get married to beat the family record.
  • Girl: So? How many?
  • Sorostitute: I have to beat 3.
  • Girl: Wow, really?
  • Sorostitute: Yeah, but they don't really count. She was in a cult.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


have you accepted mel gibson as your lord and savior?

-35 [+ / -]     Apr 10, 2008

  • Girl: Have you ever seen The Passion of the Christ?
  • Guy: No.
  • Girl: You're not going to Heaven.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


not to brag or anything

-2 [+ / -]     Apr 08, 2008

  • Old Jewish Man: It only cost 5 million dollars!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


can we go to a church with a tv?

125 [+ / -]     Apr 05, 2008

  • Catholic Guy: I'm missing UGA in the SEC championship basketball finals to come to church right now. You better be glad I like you.
  • Catholic Girl: Excuse me?!
  • Catholic Guy: What? I like Jesus, too. He's just more understanding.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


and the exchange rate sucks

76 [+ / -]     Mar 14, 2008

  • Asian Chick: (shivering) I forget how fucking cold it is in America!
  • Girl: Really? Where are you from?
  • Asian Chick: Texas.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


monday is fair game

105 [+ / -]     Mar 03, 2008

  • Redneck Father: I'm leavin' you.
  • Redneck Son: I'm gonna kill you!
  • Redneck Mother: No killins on Sunday.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


and do your math homework

258 [+ / -]     Feb 21, 2008

  • Brother Micah: Just remember, life can be so much easier if you just trust in these four words... "read your bible!"

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


"...c'mere grandma, you're about to get run over by a reindeer"

-40 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2008

  • Fratty 1: I took shots of whiskey with my mom and grandma on Christmas Eve.
  • Fratty 2: Dude, did you hook up with them?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


crustacean fetishes are apparently more popular than once thought

16 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2008

  • (Waitress brings plate of crawfish to Girl)
  • Waitress: Do you want me to show you how to eat it?
  • Girl: Sure...
  • Waitress: You rip it in half, grab the meat from the tail, then you suck the head.
  • Guy: That's what she said!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


when i say church, you say state

127 [+ / -]     Feb 11, 2008

  • Professor: Any questions?
  • (class is silent)
  • Professor: Praise the Lord.
  • (class is silent)
  • Professor: When I say Praise the Lord, you say Hallelujah.
  • Class: Hallelujah!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


this is the south, after all

-20 [+ / -]     Jan 24, 2008

  • Sorostitute 1: I'm having lunch with my god-cousin tomorrow. I absolutely love him, he is so awesome! I seriously hope I marry him.
  • Sorostitute 2: I don't think you should marry someone you consider your cousin.
  • Sorostitute 1: Yeah, I know. Fuck it, I'll still marry him!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


no, but several priests have

-33 [+ / -]     Jan 21, 2008

  • Jesus freak: Has Jesus revealed himself to you tonight, ladies?
  • Girl 1: Hell yes!
  • Girl 2: Christ... that was funny.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


we beg to differ

101 [+ / -]     Dec 25, 2007

  • Trashy lady 1: Now I'm a good woman, and that's why I give my husband everything he wants Christmas night.
  • Trashy lady 2: Then why does he come around my trailer at night lookin' for the care of a good woman?
  • Trashy lady 1: Oh hush, Shelly, he's your brother.
  • Trashy lady 2: A good woman is a good woman, sister don't make no difference.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


just wear the flip flops

114 [+ / -]     Dec 10, 2007

  • Girl: I can't hardly walk in these shoes.
  • Guy: Did you wear them in?
  • Girl: No.
  • Guy: Did you walk around the store in them?
  • Girl: No.
  • Guy: Did you try them on?
  • Girl: No, I just said, "mommy these are cute," and she bought them.
  • Guy: This is going to be a long night.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


if you really loved me you'd have taken me to piccadilly

140 [+ / -]     Dec 10, 2007

  • Girlfriend: You never take me anywhere nice.
  • Boyfriend: What are you talking about? I took you to Raising Cane's like an hour ago!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


they don't call them spirits for nothing

59 [+ / -]     Nov 20, 2007

  • Girl: (complaining about not selling alcohol on Sunday) If it's a religious thing, you're not fooling anyone if you drink every other day. Jesus sees seven days a week.
  • Eavesdropping guy: Yeah! Like Santa!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


make a fool out of himself in public?

-49 [+ / -]     Nov 13, 2007

  • Tate preacher: So when y'all are looking at your pornography or smoking a joint or getting wasted, you aren't going to be thinking "What Would Jesus Do." So instead of WWJD, I want you to think WWMD, for "What Would Micah Do?"

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


because the olive garden is black tie only

79 [+ / -]     Nov 07, 2007

  • Girl on cell: You're wearing what? Overalls? Honey, you can't wear overalls to dinner with your family!
  • (pause)
  • Girl on cell: Oh, well, that's true... I mean, it's not like you are going to the Olive Garden or anything.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


accent is right next to race in the genome

-3 [+ / -]     Nov 05, 2007

  • Guy: Dude, did you know they have black people in England?
  • Sorostitute: No way! How do they talk?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


can't argue that

130 [+ / -]     Oct 07, 2007

  • Tate preacher: Homosexuality is a sin!
  • Girl in crowd: What's so bad about homosexuality?
  • Tate preacher: Why don't you tell me what's so good about homosexuality?
  • Girl: Multiple orgasms!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


white trash math: the transitive property of unemployment

40 [+ / -]     Sep 26, 2007

  • Loan officer: Who is your current employer?
  • Redneck: I don't have a job right now.
  • Loan officer: What does your wife do?
  • Redneck: She works for me!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


just try to imagine that conversation

185 [+ / -]     Sep 06, 2007

  • Girl 1: So I hooked up with this really hot guy this weekend.
  • Girl 2: Awesome!
  • Girl 1: Well yeah, it was, but I think I might be related to him. So I have to call my mom tonight and find out.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


at least she likes mexican food

128 [+ / -]     Sep 03, 2007

  • Southern sorostitute: This year, on Cinco de Mayo, I had to take the SAT the next day, so I couldn't actually party on Cinco de Mayo. So because I couldn't party on Cinco de Mayo, my friends threw me a party on Cinco de Six!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


if you can't beat 'em... berate 'em

137 [+ / -]     Aug 27, 2007

  • Guy: (to Tate Preacher) What's your name, buddy?
  • Tate Preacher: Brother Micah.
  • Guy: Well let's skip the formal stuff, I'm gonna call you "captain asshole," is that OK?
  • (Tate Preacher looks frustrated and gets off stage)

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


the mexicans just don't have the same charm

55 [+ / -]     Aug 06, 2007

  • (Passing the fraternity / sorority houses)
  • Girl: These houses are so beautiful
  • Guy: You mean the frat houses?
  • Girl: Well, you know, they were pretty back in the days where the black people were always working in the front yard.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


excuse me waiter, but there's a white boy in my soup

84 [+ / -]     Jul 05, 2007

  • Ghetto guy: I don't want none of those cucumbers in the salad.
  • Ghetto girl: What about them croutons? You want them in there?
  • Ghetto guy: What's a crouton?!
  • Ghetto girl: It's like a cracker! A cracker in yo salad!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


what would jesus do... to cure a hangover?

-1 [+ / -]     Jun 19, 2007

  • (On a saturday night at a local restaurant)
  • Couple 1: Hey hows it going?
  • Couple 2: You know, just getting a little drunk at dinner tonight.
  • Couple 1: Yeah, we are too.
  • Couple 2: So we'll see y'all at sunday school in the morning right?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


she thinks we're still british

88 [+ / -]     Jun 03, 2007

  • Sorostitute: Then we crossed the Mississippi state line and it was really funny because I told Lindsey, "Yeah, it's really awkward here because they still own slaves."
  • Lindsey: Well how the hell was I supposed to know?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


future sunday school teachers

-14 [+ / -]     Jun 02, 2007

  • Drunk girl: I have to go in a little bit, I have to go to church.
  • Drunk guy 1: That's the best excuse for leaving I've heard all night! What do you say to God?
  • Drunk guy 2: You say, "God, I'm drunk, I can't go to church."
  • Drunk girl: Jesus loves every one, no matter what they do!

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


is that code for hot fudge sunday?

-16 [+ / -]     May 20, 2007

  • White trash wife: You want an Orange Julius?
  • White trash husband: You want a black eye?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


...and if we're talking really high-class, target

74 [+ / -]     May 03, 2007

  • City fratty: So what do you do up in the hills when you go out?
  • Redneck fratty: Go to the battlefield, downtown, something like that. Maybe Wal-mart.
  • City fratty: Wow... Wal-mart?
  • Redneck fratty: Umm hell yea? But that’s only if they’re lucky. But that's more of an upscale date... I mean hell, it’s indoors.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


chihuahua : regular dog :: gazelle : crocodile

-16 [+ / -]     Apr 12, 2007

  • Vet Tech: Can I help you?
  • Redneck: Well, I got my chihuahua Taco here, and, well, she thought it might be a good idea to pick a fight with my regualar dog
  • Vet Tech: So, what exactly seems to be the problem?
  • Redneck: I think she might need some stitches. In her head.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


you should try everything once (except that and country line dancing)

101 [+ / -]     Apr 11, 2007

  • Guy: (looking at sorostitute's Facebook profile) You know you still have your gift to give out... and there's a cherry.
  • Sorostitute: Yeah, I kinda want to give it to my brother.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


Thank God we're in the South and not South Central

61 [+ / -]     Apr 03, 2007

  • Two Indie kids standing on a front porch.
  • Old black lady: (driving by in car) God bless you! God bless you!
  • Indie Kid 1: (to Indie Kid 2) Was that just a drive-by proselytizing?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


how it really goes down in middle georgia

144 [+ / -]     Mar 21, 2007

  • Guy 1: Dude, you're about to receive a middle georgia style ass whoopin'.
  • Guy 2: Wait, does that mean you gotta stop in the middle of it and make out with your sister?

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


i bet she keeps her salt and sugar in the same jar, too

14 [+ / -]     Mar 10, 2007

  • Guy: I usually just have two loads of laundry, one of whites, one of colors.
  • Girl: Well aren't you something, I wash my whites and colors together, because I'm not racist. I don't see whites and colors, I just see clothes.
  • Guy: Well, whites and colors just happens to be a convenient division.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


diversity awareness

106 [+ / -]     Mar 08, 2007

  • Indian teacher: So in your journal, write about an important event in your life. For example, I wrote mine about the first time I met a white person. I was about 10 years old.
  • Redneck guy: Dear diary, today I met a honkey.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


hopefully he won't spend the 1.8 dollars all in one place

8 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2007

  • Redneck 1: I just left 20 pesos on the table for a tip.
  • Redneck 2: Are you serious?
  • Redneck 1: Fuck yeah man.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece


out west, there is nothing between you and the horizon but dumb, dumb, and more dumb

186 [+ / -]     Mar 03, 2007

  • Sorostitute: Me and my roommates got into a fight last night. They tried to tell me that Delaware was a state.
  • Classmate: Delaware is a state...
  • Sorostitute: Oh, well I don't care about those western states anyways.

Link / Email This | Bookmark and Share

Comments (0) | Speak Your Piece