Top rated quotes


#1   remember kids, you talk louder when you're drunk

1195 [+ / -]     Sep 27, 2007

  • Guy: That motherfucking cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.
  • Cop: (on car's loudspeaker) I'm not a motherfucker.

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#2   now that's grace under pressure

1153 [+ / -]     Oct 08, 2007

  • Drunk sorostitute: (as she's being handcuffed and escorted to the paddywagon) Shotgun!

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#3   something tells me this wasn't in the dr. spock parenting book

1050 [+ / -]     Mar 01, 2007

  • Girl on cell: I don't see sleeping with her boyfriend as a bad thing. He said he didn't even like her anyways, so whatever, let people call me a slut. Ok mom, I love you too.

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#4   too late

827 [+ / -]     Feb 09, 2008

  • Sorostitute on cell: Hey! My lucky red thong came through for me! He actually wanted to... hey, let me call you back... I think some people here are listening and I don't want this all over the Internet.

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#5   if you take medical leave they put "BRB"

787 [+ / -]     Sep 28, 2006

  • Sorostitute: Don't drop your class after the midpoint. I did that last semester and I think they got mad, because now I have a "WTF" on my transcript.

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#6   ask a stupid question...

725 [+ / -]     Mar 27, 2008

  • ER Doctor: Is there any chance that you are pregnant?
  • Female Patient: No.
  • ER Doctor: Are you sexually active?
  • Female Patient: Yes.
  • ER Doctor: Then how can you be sure you're not pregnant?
  • Female Patient: (pointing to her female friend) Because I'm sexually active with her.

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